Advice

Badvice – How to wind up your housemates

By Sarah Harris

It’s almost coming to the end of the first term and by now, most of you could say that you know your flatmates pretty well. Of course, you don’t just know the good, but also the bad and along with that, you’ve probably figured out by now, how to get on their nerves.

You’re guaranteed to have the clean freak who almost every week, undoubtedly, will send a somewhat passive aggressive message on the group chat complaining that the pile of dirty dishes by the sink had been there for far too long. On the other hand, you’ll also have that super gross housemate who ran out of clean dishes in the first week and instead of cleaning them, has been sneakily ‘borrowing’ everyone else’s in the middle of the night.

My housemates once hid in my room whilst a letting agency was showing people around our house and decided to use all my stationary and candles to make the satanic symbol on the floor. It’s fair to say I was not amused.

It’s important to note that when trying to annoy your housemates, you should probably maintain your boundaries in order to avoid some major house drama. Throwing a mouldy banana at your housemate’s door (yes, I have done this) is all fun and games until you have to clean it up.

It’s usually easier to try to piss off the housemates who are always up for banter. Twitter is swarming with tweets by angry students who’ve come home to all their furniture stuck to their ceiling or woken up from a night out with inappropriate drawings scribbled all over their face in permanent marker.

It’s not that hard to be creative thanks to inspiration from social media and can always call for some fun bonding with the rest of your housemates. Not only that but it’s always a good form of procrastination.

I once bought a leek from Tesco’s, placed it in the middle of the kitchen and sent a message on the group chat saying there was a ‘huge leak’ in the flat that they should be aware of. They all came frantically running to the kitchen, only to discover that I, once again, was being a moron.

From deciding to try and set my washing tablets on fire (and then going on to play cricket with the remaining few) to spending hours throwing absolutely anything we could find at one another, my housemates and I are definitely experts when it comes to annoying one another.

Trying to piss people off is always fun but for some reason, it’s usually a lot more fun when it’s the people you’re living with.

So, stop writing the essays you have due in for next month and start scheming for your next mission to ruin someone’s day.

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