‘The Law isn’t free of the Tax System’

By Em Gates

Imagine you work in an estate agents where you are put into competitive teams to see who can sell the most houses in a certain time. Now one day, the other team is doing very well, so to put them off their game and keep your team on track, you decide to racially attack and bite a member of the other team. You would certainly get fired, probably be reported and would definitely suffer for your actions. So why, in the case of footballer Luis Suarez, despite a four month ban, has he returned to his career as good as new?

The answer is the universal truth that us mere civilians blissfully ignore; celebrities can get away with a hell of a lot more than we can. There is no bigger example of this than the six foot mound of sheer ignorance that is Jeremy Clarkson. Last year he offended the entire country of Argentina alongside his Top Gear buddies and managed to avoid the blame by labelling it a ‘misunderstanding’. Now Clarkson is a smart guy, to think that he had no idea that the license plate was a thinly veiled insult regarding the Falkland’s war, well just seems a little unbelievable to me. The BBC has had Clarkson on his last warning for what seems to be about five years, and even though he has now been suspended, I feel like it’s only a matter of time before the grey haired hunk of rubbish is back on our screens proclaiming his racist and sexist views. But this time he really messed up, whereas before he’s just been insulting and highly offensive to the ears, this time the Top Gear presenter thought it would be a fun ole idea to actually punch one of the producers of the show…Try and explain how that one was a misunderstanding Jeremy.

But as much as my dislike for Clarkson is exceedingly apparent, who wouldn’t take a few liberties if you were guaranteed to get away with it. Katie Hopkins’ plain nastiness doesn’t affect her career, so why shouldn’t I call a co-worker inept if they’re useless at their job and there were zero repercussions? Forgetting that we’re old enough to know better, people are selfish beings who only really behave to avoid punishment, so eliminate the punishment, only then will you really discover who people are. Jimmy Carr’s tax avoidance, Noel and Liam Gallagher’s family dramas, and Chris Brown’s domestic abuse are all examples of how major illegal and inappropriate acts don’t even affect celebrities’ careers, they are literally judged by a different system to us.

None of the above activities would enhance any civilian’s career, but Jimmy Carr incorporates tax jokes into his comedy routines, both Noel and Liam have released music and autobiographies depicting the family rift, and Chris Brown is still recording music talking about how his ‘hoes ain’t loyal’ (the less said about that the better). For regular people, it would have lead to legal action or at least social alienation from our friends. But I suppose we have to accept the fact that we live in an unjust society, and non-celebrities will always be an underclass to the more famous counterpart living by very different rules. So I’ll just sit here waiting for Jeremy Clarkson to be reinstated and continue offending the world, while I politely work my way through life. That seems totally impartial and not biased at all.