Advice

Out with the old, in with the new.

Photo credit: Source: Flickr via Lisa Zins 'Broken Heart'

Relationships – can’t live with them cant live without them. That constant feeling of being wanted Vs that feeling of being independent and free is a never-ending battle. I’m writing this article with a heavy heart as I too have had my fair share of heartbreaks, or rather heartbreak. When you’re in a relationship, things can go one of two ways – you can be happy and in love and live happily ever after or things with the person you love just can’t/won’t work out. No, I’m not saying it can’t be a mutual decision and yes, there can be many other variables involved but at to put it bluntly – breakups suck. They hurt and they can get messy and complicated and you could end up in a terrible place.

Thankfully, I’m here to help you. Now we can say time heals all wounds, but do we really need to give our breakup time and nothing more? There are so many ways we as individuals can do to move on with our lives and say goodbye to the misery of our heartbreaks. For instance, Friends. Friends that you trust and have gone through the same stuff as you can be the best therapy. They make you realize that you didn’t always need that one person to survive – your girlfriends (or boyfriends) can give you just as much joy or more! If you really get on with them.

Another way of diverting your mind to new things is travelling – I moved to University after my break up and the fact that I was in a different country and met so many new people from different backgrounds and stories to tell really allowed me to really get in touch with my inner self. So, whether you’re going to a city next door or an entirely different continent (like me!) travel anywhere and see what’s out there.

A big Don’t is bottling out your emotions, to get over someone you should first let all your feelings out – cry it out, scream is initially my best route to understanding what feelings i’m going through. It’s okay to feel like your entire world is crumbling, even if it’s not. If you’re not a big crier or not the type who believes in that sort of release, head to the gym – that energy that you were putting into your relationship could be used to benefit you in more ways than you think. Taking grief out in the form of exercise is a great motivator to get a great body!

My personal favourite is to get into new forms of literature or art or music! Mixing up what you’re listening to and reading or watching can give you the feeling of a new identity that wasn’t tied to your previous relationship. Music, television and books can help you feel like you are not alone in what you are going through and other people share your pain. Music is scientifically known to have therapeutic effects and can relieve your stress of the breakup.

This path of self-discovery and getting over someone who was important isn’t easy. Tears and fixating on every little thing he or she did won’t help. But don’t worry, let it all settle in, assess your emotions and I assure you, you will become a better version of yourself because of it.

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