Photo credit: Victor (via Flickr)
Advice

The Truth About One Night Stands

By Ellie Taylor

Living in today’s society, we’re proud to be progressive and inclusive. Society is generally becoming more accepting of differences. People have the freedom to dress how they please, act how they wish and are generally free to push the boundaries of previously restricting ‘norms.’

However, despite this progress, many people are still acutely aware of judgement from others and this manipulates our actions, including many people’s willingness to openly embrace the notion that causal sex is unfairly and unnecessarily demonised by society. Human Sexuality Expert, Catherine Toyooka, suggests that “far too many people are concerned with how they should act, will be perceived, or what is considered moral, that they never allow themselves to explore casual encounters.”

The one night stand; a ritual that many see as a University rite of passage. Freshers Week is notorious for being a nationally recognised ‘Get Out of Jail Free’ Card for all the questionable choices and bad decisions made at the start of the University year. Casual sex often falls under this bracket, with many experiencing their first one night stand during this period.

However, the question arises; is a one night stand really a bad decision? Many often feel the need to justify their reasons for no-strings attached sex but in reality, justification should not be necessary. Although the trip home afterwards is commonly known as ‘The Walk of Shame,’ there is nothing shameful about consensual sex between adults. When viewing sex as an intimate display of affection, no-strings seems like an odd concept but it is also seen by many as a recreational activity. This comes down to the fact that the majority of the time sex is fun and there is nothing wrong with that!

University is nothing if not a time to experiment and there is little more liberating than embracing sexual freedom and feeling completely in control of your own body. This crucial factor of control is key to an enjoyable one night stand. The whole positive idea is that we have the autonomous ability to decide what we do with our own bodies so if ever you feel like you’re losing control of what is occurring then put a stop to it. There is nothing more important than safety during these encounters so if the situation starts to become uncomfortable for either parties, call it off immediately.

One of the most ruinous parts of the reputation of the one night stand is the idea that they are unsafe. This is often blown out of proportion and as long as a third-party knows where you are and who you’re with (make sure you at least know their name, I promise that doesn’t contradict ‘no strings,’) then this is not a legitimate reason for anyone to preach negatively at you about you one night stand. However, whilst on the topic of safety, I would advise to vigilantly use protection especially if with a stranger, as the saying goes “who knows where they’ve been!”

Humans are innately sexual beings and embracing this is not a bad thing, in spite of the fact that there are people who will try and convince you that casual sex is bordering on satanic. One night stands, whilst admittedly not always amazing, are often exhilarating experiences and as long as both parties are in it for the right reasons, on the same page, and sober enough to consent, the negative stigma against them needs to be abolished.

css.php