Photo credit: Denis Bocquet via Flickr
Advice

Tinder Horror Stories

App-y ever after?

Ellie: My one and only tinder date ended with him trying to feel me up in a packed bar. After he puts his hand up my skirt, I run to the loo, remembering I’m on my period. I make the excuse that my sister’s cat has run away. I hear him going “urgh” as he realises he has my period blood on his hand. And that is why I’m never using tinder again.

Anonymous: I matched with a girl last year and thought things were going really well, until one day she messaged me asking if I was into kinky stuff. I asked what she meant, expecting less than the confession that she had a sex swing in her student house. Needless to say I panicked and deleted her. I still see her every so often.

Sarah: Last year I matched with a guy on tinder and straight away he asked for sex. I wasn’t looking for anything serious,but he could have had the common decency of making a bit of small talk. Usually I would have just left it but I was with my housemates at the time and they persuaded me to make the most of the situation. I told him I was available and that he should take my number but instead I gave him my heterosexual friend, Josh’s number, who is a foreign student and didn’t have a UK number at this point. Next thing I know this guy is asking for my email address, and he’s messaging Josh asking for nudes and we’re all getting messages from a very confused Josh. My housemates would not let this go and persuaded me to give it to him and play around a little. I did the standard ‘I’ll send you one if you go first’ move and next thing you know I have an email from him. All my housemates were in my room at this point eagerly anticipating the opening on the email. I opened it to find a picture of a very, very crooked penis. I’ve seen penises before and I knew straight away, that this was most definitely NOT what a penis should look like. Imagine a twig snapped in half, this is what I was seeing. As promised, I sent a picture back to him – only this was a creepy picture of Josh with the caption, ‘go to the doctors.’ I deleted tinder a few hours after and have never spoken to or run across the guy thankfully. My housemates refer to it as ‘The Tale of the Crooked Cock.’

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