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Are you not entertained?

The-Sweeney-poster

Rachel Moloney asks why celebrities find it so hard sticking to one job

Fear hit me as my lecturer calmly welcomed us back with the words, ‘most of you will be looking for a job this time next year.’ Help.

However I have an idea. There’s no need to just choose a profession and stick to it, as celebrities come and go as they please. If they can flitter between jobs and switch when they get bored, then why can’t we do the same?

[pullquote]If they can flitter between jobs and switch when they get bored, then why can’t we do the same? [/pullquote]

Practically everybody knows that David Beckham is a footballer. Yet since the beginning of the year, some rather moody shots of the sports star in his boxers have graced H&M stores across the land after he designed his own underwear range. The advertisement had a grand debut at the US Super Bowl back in February and even Beckham admitted that he was just a tad embarrassed by it all. And so he should be. Just because you’re getting on a bit, doesn’t mean you can play dress-up. Actually it’s more like dress-down- he’s not exactly wearing much.

Beckham is by no means the only celebrity to try their hand at design. With stylists at their beck and call, the stars look irritatingly good on a daily basis and it’s nice that they want us to look good too. When Cheryl Cole got fed up of singing (and I use this word loosely), she teamed up with Stylist Pick to design a whole range of footwear ranging from sandals, wedges, platforms and boots. Not far behind were the Olsen twins, with the sweet and innocent days of Two of a Kind long forgotten. They designed their own collection for the same website, which means that I can now wear one of their rather plain looking tops with my brand new Cheryl shoes. My life is made.

However if celebrities are too busy taking everyone else’s jobs, I won’t have any money to buy these essential items. Damn. And that means I’ll also have to cross out Rihanna’s Reb’l Fleur fragrance from my list as well as Lady Gaga’s recently launched Fame. On Twitter, the woman herself claimed that the perfume has sold 6 million bottles in one week making it the 2nd fastest-selling fragrance ever. Well she would say that. And if the ego-boosting title wasn’t enough, Fame even has its own promotional video which lasts a sleep-inducing 5 minutes. It’s a perfume Gaga, not a life-changing medical cure.

Others in the music profession wouldn’t be seen dead with a perfume to their name. They’d rather run round a film-set shooting people. That’s what Ben Drew (aka Plan B) has been doing anyway. He joined fellow cockney Ray Winstone in police drama The Sweeney, adapted from the original ITV series of the ‘70s. Playing Winstone’s side-kick Carter, Plan B sprints his way through Laaandan, moving on from previous roles in films such as Adulthood and Harry Brown. Who’d have thought that a platinum selling artist could be such a director’s dream? They probably only wanted him to do the soundtrack.

But moving in the opposite direction is comedian-turned-actor Sacha Baron Cohen, who now plays eccentric and excitable foreigners as well as minor musical characters. ‘Is he really singing in Sweeney Todd?’ is a question about as debated as ‘did Pamela Anderson know she would be kidnapped in Borat?’ but whatever the answer, it’s a long way from Cohen’s previous life as Ali G. He will soon add Les Miserables to his growing musical repertoire, after starring in Hollywood’s highly anticipated movie which opens next year. And to top it all off he gets to reprise his role as the crazy lemur King Julien in Madagascar 3, which hits cinemas on October 19th. Even if he isn’t actually singing in Les Mis, at least he can belt out ‘I like to move it’ to perfection.

Playing a character much darker than a dancing monkey, John Bishop similarly proved that comedians aren’t just one- trick ponies. Although he’s not exactly known for holding a straight face and being a shoulder to cry on, that’s exactly what he did in BBC One’s recent drama Accused as he played the husband of a terminally ill woman and father to their 2 boys. However sooner than you can say Liverpool, Bishop had already returned to his normal job and is still travelling round the UK on his Rollercoaster Tour: a fitting title for someone who gets paid for playing a mourning husband, having a right old laugh and answering sports questions on League of Their Own.

It seems to me that life and work is a bit of a fairground ride to many in the entertainment industry. They’re unable to sit on the same one and just cannot wait to leap off and try something new. But for people who are worried about getting a single job in the first place, this is very annoying. There is no need for celebrities to sample every career in the land and they are definitely not in need of any extra income. So do me a favour, sit back, relax and let someone else have a go.

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Rachel Moloney

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