There is a strange shame in admitting you met your partner on Tinder. When I think about it there are only two real reasons (at least that I can think of) as to why this is the case:
1) You have to admit you were actively searching for someone romantically.
2) thereÔÇÖs a sense that you ÔÇÿfailedÔÇÖ the romantic game. What I mean by this, is thereÔÇÖs this unwritten notion that youÔÇÖve ÔÇÿfailedÔÇÖ to meet in the traditional way – you had to try harder than your peers.
You donÔÇÖt have the meet-cute to recite from the likes of a rom-com. The reality is you were probably sluggishly scrolling on your dating app in bed, thinking ÔÇÿeh they look okayÔÇÖ *swipes right.* However, I donÔÇÖt think we should be so ashamed. The modern world doesnÔÇÖt exactly facilitate romance, we should embrace our Tinder origin stories.
When I matched with my partner it was September 2020, restrictions had eased but vaccines were yet to roll out, the pandemic was still very much looming. I was on Tinder out of boredom, I wasnÔÇÖt actually looking for anything serious. This sparked the beginnings of an unusual relationship. We talked for nine months online before even meeting each other in person due to the pandemic. Safe to say when we did meet in June 2021 I was incredibly nervous because of the huge build up of anticipation, but the months of talking actually worked in our favour. It ended up being the best first date IÔÇÖd ever had because we had already established a friendship albeit online. We both knew what topics to bring up and conversation did not falter. He stayed the night, and then actually stayed for five days. Meeting someone online allows one to have a pre-emptive understanding of who the person is before meeting (assuming their profile is accurate). I think if youÔÇÖre particularly anxious about dating, talking to someone online for a while before meeting may even calm some nerves – because you at least know them quite well and your mutual interests.
Due to the long build up there was no hiding to my friends how I met my partner, they knew I had been talking to someone for months. However, when it came to my family I didnÔÇÖt know what to say. To my surprise my mumÔÇÖs first question was: did you meet on Tinder? I thought my mum didnÔÇÖt even know what it was. I simply answered ÔÇÿyesÔÇÖ because I couldnÔÇÖt make something up on the spot, and youÔÇÖll find people donÔÇÖt actually care how you met, theyÔÇÖre just happy youÔÇÖve found someone.
Phoebe Bowers
Tinder isnt where I like to admit my girlfriend and I met, but it is true that it brought us together whilst isolating in our separate hometowns. Tinder over the first lockdown did this brilliant thing where you could set your location to anywhere in the world, I of course had it set in Australia for a while for those surfers before putting it back to Cardiff which I missed dearly whilst isolating with my family in the Midlands. My heart almost skipped a beat when she appeared to swipe right on, where she also had her location in Cardiff. I like to think we met at exactly the right time, even if it was on Tinder. We could have met many times before being in the same circles of friends in Cardiff, attending the same gigs and doing the same course though our paths never crossed until May 2020 on Tinder. Although truthfully, I knew her before this encounter and it is this encounter, I tell people where they ask where we met, sorry Tinder.
I had fallen slightly head over heels for her in our poetry seminar that we both had on Thursday afternoons for one of our English Literature modules. I would sit and romanticize her every move and spend hours thinking of what kind of person she was. Stalker-ish, I agree. But may I add that she never noticed me once though did know me as the girl who would always come into the lecture late eating toast; being on time has never been a talent I possess. I never wore makeup to attend university though every Thursday I would slap some on in the hopes she would even look my way. This one-sided romance ended when our module finished with the semester and her presence slipped more to the back of my mind than illuminated in my frontal lobe. This was until Tinder.
I have never and feel like I will never again feel a connection like it, it felt like I knew her within the first day of talkingmaybe because I did with all that stalking. But we would accidently stay up until 5am simply just exchanging messages, I wanted to know every single tiny thing about her. She made me and still makes me feel like I am the most interesting, funniest person on this earth, and I hope I make her feel the same. It has nearly been two years now since our first Tinder chat and we are going strong, stronger than strong. But dont you worry how the tables flipped at the beginning when a little old commitment-phobe (traumatized from past relationships) me made her chase me like I had all those months ago in our shared seminar. I still get butterflies meeting her nearly two years later, so a big thank you to Tinder, I guess.
Hope Docherty
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