Love

…Are You Still Watching?

Porn seems to be a rather contentious issue depending on the relationship; some have no qualms whereas others consider it to be akin to cheating. I think the topic of porn and how it functions in relationships is a unique issue. PeopleÔÇÖs views are extremely polarising. For my current relationship, porn acts as a way for myself and my partner to satisfy our own needs. I care little of what porn my partner watches other than general curiosity and being a tad nosey about what they like to watch.  

However, I can understand some problems presented by porn and the consumption of porn,in the way of feeling like your partnerÔÇÖs eyes are wandering or that in some way youÔÇÖre not satisfying their desires. For me, I draw more issue with interactive pornographic content; some examples being webcam models, hotline sex and OnlyFans. The reason being that someone is talking and actively interacting with my partner, acting on their requests. To me this feels more like cheating than watching pre-recorded content. Rather than watching anyone, they are interacting with a specific person and paying for a unique experience. Personally if my partner was wanting something more specific, I would hope that our relationship would be a perfect setting to explore that. 

Words by Olivia Nilsen

Despite Gen Z being one of the first generations to receive a (somewhat adequate) sex education within school, porn seemed to reign as the optimal yet unqualified teacher on how to have sex. It was a bit like when your PE teacher had to last-minute cover your Maths lesson ÔÇô absolutely useless.

Having come across porn at a rather young age, it felt like a secret liberation, something I knew I shouldnÔÇÖt be doing and yet weirdly enthralling. I thought what I was watching was a display of feminist autonomy, but as I educated myself, I realised that it was simply normalizing violent sexual acts towards women. Spitting, choking and slapping arenÔÇÖt always acts people tend to enjoy, so why were we condemning those who preferred to refrain from them?

Porn is ultimately unavoidable. I believe that now, having a broader understanding of what porn is and how it functions, it can be used strategically to show a partner what you may like or even teach you certain things about your own body that arenÔÇÖt covered in your year 6 ÔÇÿidentify the genitaliaÔÇÖ sex ed class. However, we must be careful about what we are choosing to consume and aware of its real-life implications, considering the standard it produces for women in which they must submit to any and all male fantasies. For porn to function as a useful rather than harmful tool, it is our responsibility to educate ourselves on the reality behind its feigned idealised image, as frankly that PE teacher doesnÔÇÖt know the first thing about PythagorasÔÇÖs theorem.

Words by Rosa Makedonis Kalodiki