Advice

Coping with a friendship break up

Still treat them with respect: Remember they used to be your friend. Source: KaLisa Veer via Unsplash.

By Lauren Ryan

Friendships are truly a blessing and we all appreciate having that one friend we can go to for endless DMC’s, or the one who can make us belly laugh regardless of what mood we’re in. Yet, friendships can also be confusing, challenging and ever-changing for some of us, even all of us at one point or another. Most of us consider ‘friendship break-ups’ to be something only children experience, but it is something that can happen at any point of our lives. If you are currently going through a friendship break-up or you’re still not quite over one from the past, here are a few little tips to help you along.

Try to avoid arguments. Conversing in heated arguments and being angry can be exhausting and is a waste of your energy. You don’t need to be surrounded by negative vibes on a daily basis. The best thing to do is to avoid retaliating and remove yourself from the situation.

Try to understand that adulthood is a different transition for everyone. Sometimes, the reasoning behind a friendship break-up is merely someone growing into a different person. It’s totally natural for someone to develop different interests to you, or to adopt new morals that don’t quite fit yours. Though it is upsetting, this is something out of anyone’s control and it is best to appreciate the friendship you had and wish that person luck in their future.

Identify when things become toxic. It can be difficult to accept no longer being someone’s friend, however, instead of falling out with this person by demanding their friendship, take a step back and see if the situation is making you happy. As an adult, and even as a human being, your main responsibility is looking after yourself. When you’re focusing on someone else’s happiness before your own, that can be a slippery slope that will eventually cause your well-being to deteriorate. If a friendship is toxic and does not make you a happier, better person, then the reality is that friendship break-up is a ‘good riddance’ scenario.

Focus on respecting the friendship you once had. It’s been previously mentioned, but it can be upsetting to come to terms with a friendship break-up. However, under no circumstances does it make you a better person to spill any secrets they’ve entrusted in you over the course of your friendship. Whether that person has been spiteful towards you, upset you tremendously or has simply drifted from you silently, maintain your pride of being a good person and keep those secrets safe. Rise above any of the wrongdoing they are showing, it is a far greater reflection on them as a person than you.

All in all, friendship break-ups are very emotional experiences that aren’t nice for either party. However, maintaining your morals and focusing on your own happiness should be able to guide you through it. It’s a part of life and try to keep in mind – when one door closes, another door opens.

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