{"id":30003,"date":"2021-06-05T18:00:28","date_gmt":"2021-06-05T17:00:28","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/cardiffstudentmedia.co.uk\/quench\/?p=30003"},"modified":"2021-06-05T15:30:40","modified_gmt":"2021-06-05T14:30:40","slug":"will-we-survive-a-year-apart","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/cardiffstudentmedia.co.uk\/quench\/love\/will-we-survive-a-year-apart\/","title":{"rendered":"Will We Survive a Year Apart?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Written by: Niladri Singh<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Illustration by: Summer Griffin<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you ask yourself this question, what is the immediate answer that you\u252c\u00e1receive?\u252c\u00e1The\u252c\u00e1instant,\u252c\u00e1naked, whole truth.\u252c\u00e1Often, that is the\u252c\u00e1answer that should guide you forwards in this next phase\u252c\u00e1in your lives<\/span>,\u252c\u00e1with or without each other.\u252c\u00e1\u252c\u00e1<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Every relationship is different because\u252c\u00e1every human being is different\u252c\u00e1and this is why the choices people make and the way people react to their\u252c\u00e1situations differs too.\u252c\u00e1\u252c\u00e1<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u252c\u00e1would\u252c\u00e1be a whole lot easier if I had the perfect plan and could jot it down for you.\u252c\u00e1But\u252c\u00e1as someone who decided she couldn’t choose to be in a\u252c\u00e1long-distance\u252c\u00e1relationship\u252c\u00e1despite it being one of the most full-filling\u252c\u00e1and wholesome ones\u252c\u00e1she’s ever been in, there\u252c\u00e1are only a few things I can suggest.\u252c\u00e1<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Be\u252c\u00e1sure\u252c\u00e1to sit down and have long and meaningful conversations about\u252c\u00e1the year ahead. List your priorities, no matter how difficult they might feel.<\/span> It is\u252c\u00e1alright to\u252c\u00e1feel like you\u252c\u00e1have the whole world to explore, new people and places to meet and visit, to feel it would not be fair to\u252c\u00e1put\u252c\u00e1your partner through changes\u252c\u00e1you\u252c\u00e1<\/em>can’t\u252c\u00e1even\u252c\u00e1fathom. It is also alright to feel like your relationship is the one thing that you would never give up on, to feel like it is your\u252c\u00e1haven\u252c\u00e1and\u252c\u00e1to stick by it through all the changes to come.\u252c\u00e1\u252c\u00e1<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The thing about love and everything that comes with it,\u252c\u00e1is\u252c\u00e1that it\u252c\u00e1is\u252c\u00e1going to move you, it is going to\u252c\u00e1test you. It will make you\u252c\u00e1wish, yearn, learn, it will make you\u252c\u00e1grow. It will change you;\u252c\u00e1all relationships do.<\/span>\u252c\u00e1\u252c\u00e1<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There have been people who have been together for years and parted ways, people that met on\u252c\u00e1a\u252c\u00e1blind date\u252c\u00e1and are\u252c\u00e1raising\u252c\u00e1a\u252c\u00e1child\u252c\u00e1now, there have been people who have\u252c\u00e1lived oceans apart\u252c\u00e1and now live every second of every day together. There are also people who grow out of relationships and places,\u252c\u00e1meet\u252c\u00e1different\u252c\u00e1people,\u252c\u00e1visit\u252c\u00e1new\u252c\u00e1places\u252c\u00e1and\u252c\u00e1take that leap into the unknown.\u252c\u00e1<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At the end of the day, it boils down\u252c\u00e1to\u252c\u00e1the two of you and your relationship.\u252c\u00e1<\/span>Are each of you going to take equal responsibility?\u252c\u00e1How will you manage different time-zones with work and university schedules?\u252c\u00e1When will you see each other next?\u252c\u00e1How will you manage communication?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you decide to take the challenge, \u252c\u00e1find things you can do together despite the distance, maybe watch a movie, plan a dinner date,\u252c\u00e1play online games together. Look for new and creative ways to stay in touch and\u252c\u00e1spice\u252c\u00e1up your dirty\u252c\u00e1talk.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A friend\u252c\u00e1of mine also suggested\u252c\u00e1that you could see how you fair when you\u252c\u00e1can’t meet each other in-person\u252c\u00e1for a few weeks\u252c\u00e1or a month.\u252c\u00e1A\u252c\u00e1long-distance\u252c\u00e1relationship will feel a lot like that but magnified and with\u252c\u00e1changes happening all around you.\u252c\u00e1\u252c\u00e1So this could give you a good idea of what to expect.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If\u252c\u00e1you’re the one that decides to go ahead\u252c\u00e1solo, it is going to be fun. It is going to be a\u252c\u00e1whole\u252c\u00e1lot of\u252c\u00e1new people, new relationships, stories to tell,\u252c\u00e1a whole lot of change with\u252c\u00e1you\u252c\u00e1at the centre of it all,\u252c\u00e1quite a whirlwind.\u252c\u00e1When all\u252c\u00e1that settles, there will come a night\u252c\u00e1when\u252c\u00e1you\u252c\u00e1will\u252c\u00e1be hit with a\u252c\u00e1tsunami of memories.<\/span> Be prepared for that.\u252c\u00e1On nights\u252c\u00e1like\u252c\u00e1that, you must remember the reason you took this\u252c\u00e1decision;\u252c\u00e1you must\u252c\u00e1remember\u252c\u00e1that you are\u252c\u00e1far\u252c\u00e1better not being part of\u252c\u00e1each other’s\u252c\u00e1lives\u252c\u00e1than being\u252c\u00e1absent or worse,\u252c\u00e1being\u252c\u00e1half-heartedly present. As clich\u251c\u00ae as it may sound, if it is meant to be, it will be. I ha<\/span>ve witnessed that\u252c\u00e1and\u252c\u00e1I’m certain a few of our readers have too.\u252c\u00e1So doing what you feel is right in the moment and knowing that\u252c\u00e1making the right choice is sometimes one of the most difficult things to do, should get you through it. Five years from today, will you still stand by your\u252c\u00e1decision?\u252c\u00e1\u252c\u00e1<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Before I forget to mention, he has a girlfriend now and I have had plenty of time to reflect.\u252c\u00e1I\u252c\u00e1do not regret my decision. We are still friends and yes, we do not talk\u252c\u00e1every day\u252c\u00e1or like we used to but when he makes\u252c\u00e1music,\u252c\u00e1I’m still one of the first people\u252c\u00e1he calls\u252c\u00e1and honestly, that’s all I ask for, for now.\u252c\u00e1\u252c\u00e1<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u252c\u00e1is okay to feel literally any feeling in the spectrum of emotion when you are making decisions like these, decisions that\u252c\u00e1will\u252c\u00e1impact your life\u252c\u00e1even years after\u252c\u00e1you have taken them.\u252c\u00e1Do not beat yourself up and make sure to hold on to some form of catharsis.\u252c\u00e1This could be\u252c\u00e1music, writing, cooking,\u252c\u00e1painting,\u252c\u00e1anything that will keep you grounded,\u252c\u00e1happy,\u252c\u00e1physically\u252c\u00e1and mentally\u252c\u00e1present\u252c\u00e1in the now and most importantly,\u252c\u00e1in your being,\u252c\u00e1as your truest most authentic self<\/span>, the one that answered that first\u252c\u00e1initial\u252c\u00e1question: Will we survive a year apart? Your self-love no matter what you choose must shine through because the distance\u252c\u00e1my friend,\u252c\u00e1will test you either way.\u252c\u00e1\u252c\u00e1<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n\n\n\n

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Written by: Niladri Singh Illustration by: Summer Griffin When you ask yourself this question, what is the immediate answer that 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