{"id":33326,"date":"2023-02-22T16:44:57","date_gmt":"2023-02-22T16:44:57","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/cardiffstudentmedia.co.uk\/quench\/?p=33326"},"modified":"2023-02-22T16:44:58","modified_gmt":"2023-02-22T16:44:58","slug":"coming-out-and-coming-together-part-1","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/cardiffstudentmedia.co.uk\/quench\/features\/coming-out-and-coming-together-part-1\/","title":{"rendered":"Coming Out and Coming Together: Part 1"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Words by Tegan Davies<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

My \u00d4\u00c7\u00ffcoming out’ was a little bit sporadic \u00d4\u00c7\u00f4 it was always thrown into random conversation when I saw fit and felt safe enough. Becoming comfortable with my sexuality was something that took a lot of time \u00d4\u00c7\u00f4 I knew I liked girls from a very young age, always having school-girl crushes on my female peers in the same way I fancied the boys. I’d kiss my girl-friends as if it was seen as normal, and honestly did not realise that it was taboo until 2015, when Obama legalised same-sex marriage in the states. I was eleven at the time, and exposed to the harsh truth that no, this was not a right that was automatic, and instead was something portrayed as gross and unnatural.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Being picked on for being bisexual in a high school that taught me God hated me for it meant that teachers and general staff did not move quickly to protect me during my time as a student. I stood timid, whilst those with the power to put an end to the bullying watched from the side-lines because, in fairness, “Jesus wouldn’t have accepted it”.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When I came out to one of my friends in year 8, she stopped being friends with me almost immediately. At the time, I understood and accepted the shame she felt \u00d4\u00c7\u00f4 that she was being accused of being \u00d4\u00c7\u00ffone of them’ by associating herself with me. It was clear I had been outed to a group of girls from another school in my area which caused this rumour to spread. I never truly accepted that I wasn’t to blame until years later, when I realised that being shunned out for who you love is a form of discrimination.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My family, however, is one of many things I have been blessed with. My mum already knew, I think, and I told her during a car ride in 2017-ish, to which she was like, “yeah, cool, anyways” and continued our gossip about a girl I used to admire. Being as close as we are (I’m her only child, and daughter \u00d4\u00c7\u00f4 picture Gilmore Girls <\/em>but better), I knew she would never judge me whatsoever, and that she will always love me regardless. My poor dad and step-mum were drunk when I slipped it into conversation \u00d4\u00c7\u00f4 although I genuinely didn’t realise I hadn’t said anything before \u00d4\u00c7\u00f4 and my dad gave me a big speech about how proud he was and how he was grateful I felt comfortable enough to share that part of me. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Other family, however, just sort of caught on. I realised that anyone who didn’t accept that part of me wasn’t worth my time. My granddad, a little old-fashioned in his ways, has been told quite a few times but never actually remembers, and that’s fine by me, as every time I mention it he’s like, “wow, okay, but I want great-grandkids still!”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Other friends, especially ones I’ve kept close to this day, have confessed that they either felt the same or were very happy for my confidence. One of the boys I used to hang out with in high school was full of questions \u00d4\u00c7\u00f4 genuine curiosity about this new, interesting revelation. I will never forget the acceptance I felt in that moment, regardless of the fact we no longer speak. My best friend is a lesbian, and most of my friendship group are in the community. 
<\/p>\n\n\n\n

TLDR: I fancied Jade and Beck on Victorious <\/em>as a kid, and it shows.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Words by Tegan Davies My \u00d4\u00c7\u00ffcoming out’ was a little bit sporadic \u00d4\u00c7\u00f4 it was always thrown into random conversation 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