{"id":33397,"date":"2023-03-03T17:48:36","date_gmt":"2023-03-03T17:48:36","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/cardiffstudentmedia.co.uk\/quench\/?p=33397"},"modified":"2023-03-03T18:43:42","modified_gmt":"2023-03-03T18:43:42","slug":"coming-out-and-coming-together","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/cardiffstudentmedia.co.uk\/quench\/features\/coming-out-and-coming-together\/","title":{"rendered":"Coming Out and Coming Together: Part 4"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Words by Genevieve Gunn<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I’ve known that I was gay ever since I understood what the word \u00d4\u00c7\u00ffgay’ meant. I must have been, what \u00d4\u00c7\u00f4 about 13? Or maybe 14? Realising that I liked girls was the easy part. Realising that I didn’t like men, however, was so much harder to accept. Following this, I spent many a night mourning the life I had envisioned for myself, with a husband, a family and maybe even a few pets. Everything I thought I needed, that I thought I had wanted, was no longer possible. For it wouldn’t allow me to live my life authentically, I would be living a lie. I was a lesbian.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Looking back, this was such an incredibly dramatic and over-the-top reaction \u00d4\u00c7\u00f4 but I would like to reiterate that I was a teenager with an overactive imagination. More than anything though, I think this attests to how comfortable and secure I have come to be in my identity. I would not want to be anybody else, no less a straight version. This has obviously taken years of work; I can still remember how nervous and scared I was to tell my parents. I cornered my Mum when the rest of my family were out and told her: “I like girls, don’t ask me any questions,” before promptly trying to leave the room. I always knew that they would accept me but it was still such a difficult thing to do.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Telling my friends was noticeably easier, mostly because we were all in the same throes of questioning our identities and the very fabric of what makes us, us<\/em>. I guess birds of a feather really do flock together. Despite this short timeline of events, it took me so much longer to come out to the rest of my peers. I first planned to come out when I turned 16 (didn’t happen), then I decided to come out should I get a girlfriend (spoiler alert: that also didn’t happen).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, I took it one step further and came out on TV.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I applied to appear on the first season of Teen First Dates, a spinoff of its namesake: First Dates, and to my surprise, and I think to the surprise of literally everyone else I told \u00d4\u00c7\u00f4 I got on. I appeared on a date with a girl (obviously), and that was that. The big secret was out. It was such a monumental event in my life, that I kind of expected a similar reaction, but I didn’t get that. Which I must say, is completely normal. I had no social media so there was no way of really reaching me unless you had my number, and I was in sixth form, so I think that everyone around was mature enough not to approach me and ask any questions. Unfortunately, I am aware that things were said behind closed doors, but that happens.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There was also no sudden sense of community for me that I deeply yearned for; I was fluctuating between friend groups, and as far as I was aware, most of my classmates were straight. At times it felt like I was the only lesbian in my vicinity, which I know was not true but it sure as hell was lonely. I’ve only really now managed to find my community and queer friends at university, where I am surrounded by like-minded people in a much friendlier city.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My advice to people questioning and\/or thinking about coming out? It gets easier, you’ll probably be doing it for the rest of your life but in time it’ll come naturally to you.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Words by Genevieve Gunn I’ve known that I was gay ever since I understood what the word \u00d4\u00c7\u00ffgay’ meant. 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