{"id":35001,"date":"2024-12-11T10:04:28","date_gmt":"2024-12-11T10:04:28","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/cardiffstudentmedia.co.uk\/quench\/?p=35001"},"modified":"2024-12-11T10:04:29","modified_gmt":"2024-12-11T10:04:29","slug":"act-ones-the-small-mermaid-a-horny-whirlpool-of-eco-conscious-crustaceans","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/cardiffstudentmedia.co.uk\/quench\/culture\/act-ones-the-small-mermaid-a-horny-whirlpool-of-eco-conscious-crustaceans\/","title":{"rendered":"Act One\u2019s The Small Mermaid: A Horny Whirlpool of Eco-Conscious Crustaceans"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>Under the sea, it is certainly wetter. Act One\u2019s sin-soaked panto <em>The Small Mermaid<\/em> plunges us into the deep end of a very wet (fever) dream; think Rocky Horror meets Sea World meets Am-Dram.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Directed by Millie Quarm <em>(<\/em><a href=\"https:\/\/cardiffstudentmedia.co.uk\/quench\/culture\/act-ones-twelfth-night-an-elaborately-tangled-web-of-displaced-desire\/\"><em>Twelfth Night<\/em>)<\/a>, the plot is anchored in the upcoming erections, I mean elections, of the human world &#8211; of which Just Stop Oil leads the polls &#8211; much to the vexation of underwater Motherlord and oil magnate Ursula. She commissions her minion Liz Truce to spy on the affairs of JSO head honcho Eric, a climate change firebrand, doted on by the desperately horny Aria. Following Aria\u2019s Faustian bargain with Ursula to grow legs and join Eric on land, a circus of concupiscent pandemonium ensues, involving endless \u2018daddy\u2019\/\u2019diddy\u2019 puns, conspicuously sticky floors and a particularly lustful eel. Ultimately Ursula\u2019s fracking empire is toppled by Triton\u2019s threats to unveil her tax evasion schemes unless she frees Aria from her tentacles, much to the jubilation of Just Stop Oil. And there were only a few Les Mis songs.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/cardiffstudentmedia.co.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/12\/IMG_8752-1-1024x656.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-35178\"\/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>Curtains open on the acapella chorus of se(a)men, who interchangeably embody JSO protestors as well as daughters of Triton. After only a handful of scenes, Aria (Lotty Wharton) melts into a puddle of horniness when she meets Eric, professing that she wants to dip her toes into the human world and bring him back to her (ocean) bed. (Even the original had always had something weird about feet, and this adaptation runs (!) with it). Although she is repeatedly warned of the danger of oil spills and overfishing at the ocean\u2019s surface, she simply can\u2019t help herself but to go to the top (and get on top), selling her soul to the campaign in the pursuit of a man (sigh). Patriarchy persists beyond the shores, it seems.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Flounder is Fondler (Ben Edwards), a watery wanker who at one point unceremoniously \u2018ejaculates\u2019 whipped cream over Triton (Anwen Crawford) (and the front row of the captive audience, much to their horror) in an inappropriately hilarious scene of classic slapstick slosh. Ozempiced oceanic overlord and octopoid Ursula (Josh Salisbury) oozes not just ink but a salaciously slimy countenance. Whilst she confesses her BBL might have deflated, the melodramatic \u2018Poor Unfortunate Souls\u2019 ensnares the audience in her tendriled web of deception, with her savagely comic delivery as razor-sharp as her arched eyebrows.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/cardiffstudentmedia.co.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/12\/IMG_8539-2-1024x728.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-35180\"\/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>The production\u2019s orgasmic apotheosis climaxes at the delightfully raucous counterplay between Panto Dame Sebastina (Ben Lewis) and the audience, in the world\u2019s most drawn-out succession of call and response. \u2018Oh Yes It Did\u2019 go on for ages. Still, Sebastina is possibly the only slightly normal character within this bonkers production &#8211; that is, until \u2018Kiss The Girl\u2019 in which \u2018kiss\u2019 is interchanged for increasingly literal verbs that I probably should not write in this review. And of course, no one could forget the pair of expertly useless starfish (because they never left the stage) who glisten under the stage lights with the sparkle of homoerotic tension.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>The Small Mermaid<\/em> drips with libido with every line but never drowns in its debauchery. It stirs the warm waters of the well-loved dramatic form, making new waves and leaving a high watermark for the relentlessly randy panto romp.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\"\/>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/cardiffstudentmedia.co.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/12\/IMG_8754-1024x625.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-35181\"\/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\"\/>\n\n\n\n<p><strong><em>Words by Julia Bottoms<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>Photos courtesy of Millie Quarm<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Under the sea, it is certainly wetter. Act One\u2019s sin-soaked panto The Small Mermaid plunges us into the deep end [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":650,"featured_media":35004,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[10],"tags":[3,3054,50,96,1206,19],"class_list":["post-35001","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-culture","tag-cardiff","tag-cardiff-student-media","tag-culture-2","tag-quench","tag-quench-magazine","tag-review"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.5 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Act One\u2019s The Small Mermaid: A Horny Whirlpool of Eco-Conscious Crustaceans - Quench<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Under the sea, it is certainly wetter. 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