By Erykah Cameron

As we start January it’s ‘new year, new me’ time, but maybe this year we should look at things a little differently and take a new approach to the old tradition of new yearÔÇÖs resolutions. There is so much pressure from social media, other people, and often ourselves to be perfect all of the time anyway, that the pressure to start each year with a whole new mindset gets forgotten about. However, when we think about it, this pressure is completely unnecessary. A lot of the time, this pressure is meant to be motivating, but for a lot of people it can be more toxic than anything. It can make us feel like this yearÔÇÖs version of us wasnÔÇÖt enough, and that we need to change for the benefit of ourselves and others. In reality, weÔÇÖre more than likely just fine as we are, but we give into the pressure because weÔÇÖre so used to the tradition of setting strict ÔÇÿresolutionsÔÇÖ that we often donÔÇÖt realise that we really donÔÇÖt have to.

I used to set myself new yearÔÇÖs resolutions every year without fail, and they were all things that I donÔÇÖt even really enjoy doing, but that I thought would make me a better person. I never shared them with anyone, but I still felt so bad if I didnÔÇÖt achieve them (and I often didnÔÇÖt). However, last year, I set myself some more reasonable goals rather than strict resolutions, because I didnÔÇÖt feel like I needed to resolve anything. Instead, I had some ideas of things that IÔÇÖd like to have done by the end of the year, but also that wouldnÔÇÖt be the end of the world if I didnÔÇÖt get around to doing.

I made these goals less about me superficially, and more about the things that I wanted for myself. I wrote them down and put them away for the whole year. After looking back at them recently, I was surprised to realise that IÔÇÖd managed to achieve them all, and I felt great when I re-read them! I think this was mainly because they were things that I knew I wanted to do, and so I didnÔÇÖt have to look at them every day and force myself to work towards achieving them. I used them more as a guide for my year, and as a way to track my progress in things that I was already working towards. I also found them so much easier to achieve and felt so much better when I did, compared to if IÔÇÖd set myself unrealistic resolutions based on what I thought I should be doing, not what I actually wanted to do.

“rather than setting ourselves up to fail with harsh resolutions that are almost impossible to achieve, we should be kinder to ourselves”

My experience with resolutions last year taught me that, rather than setting ourselves up to fail with harsh resolutions that are almost impossible to achieve, we should be kinder to ourselves, and try to make our new yearÔÇÖs goals more realistic. I think we should look deeper than dieting and exercise and instead set goals which we know will make us happier. As big or small as our goals are, IÔÇÖm a true believer in manifesting our own happiness. So, if we are focused on more positive and reachable goals, then theyÔÇÖre more likely to be achieved!

I think itÔÇÖs important to also say that itÔÇÖs okay to not set any goals or resolutions at all. In fact, maybe thatÔÇÖs the way to go. The constant pressure to always better ourselves can be so intense and overwhelming; maybe we need to just focus on who we are and what weÔÇÖre doing now, rather than always thinking of what we can do better. ItÔÇÖs perfectly okay to live in the moment, rather than planning your year out entirely before it has even begun. Ultimately, everything happens for a reason, and nothing is set in stone; sometimes flexibility allows for more growth than rigid plans, because who knows whatÔÇÖs around the corner.

So, this new year, maybe have a think about what you want for yourself in 2022, but donÔÇÖt worry too much about making any grand announcements of your goals, or about sticking to them religiously. I think itÔÇÖs safe to say that youÔÇÖll be fine both with, or without them.  

Image courtesy of Kelly Sikkema via Unsplash