By Dominic Bramley-Carr
ValentineÔÇÖs Day. Whilst a date often associated with red, romance and a bouquet of roses, it can also knock the self-confidence of the most level-headed individual. It seems to be fairly widely accepted that the construction of ValentineÔÇÖs Day, by films and television, as a day of clich├® love that is more special than any other, is a marketing ploy which puts unnecessary pressure on singles and couples alike. Why then, do many of us continue to see it as a deadline to find a date, or as a sign of undesirability?
I personally have never had a ValentineÔÇÖs Day date with anyone other than a close friend, something which has previously made me feel fairly alone. I imagine many others feel or have felt the same. I often have to remind myself of the importance of stepping back and recognising not only the trivial nature of a specific date dictating your self-worth, but also the range of good in your life that is completely undetermined by your relationship status on the 14th of February. Regardless of how many of your friends are in relationships or how many Instagram stories you see, there is so much more to place value on beyond traditional love and relationships. This is not to say that it is easy to ignore those feelings of loneliness or the pressure to be in a relationship… but, make it easier on yourself by turning this day into something wholly positive and focusing on the good. Getting started with this is easier said than done but, to provide some inspiration, IÔÇÖll be suggesting some alternative ways to spend ValentineÔÇÖs Day, partly based on my own experiences.
Personally, I have always been one for a ‘GalentineÔÇÖs Day’, mainly because my friends are amazing and theyÔÇÖve lasted far longer than any relationship has. ThereÔÇÖs so many fantastic activities to do with those special people in your life. The classics, all of which I have tried out, include a fancy dinner party, a chilled movie night or a cocktail/mocktail evening. Whatever you and your friends enjoy, one of these are guaranteed to be a good time. Some more niche ones, which are definitely inspiring me for this year, are hosting a crafts night where you can paint pottery and make jewellery or a bake-off where you each make a sweet treat and get tasting.
However, you in no way need to spend ValentineÔÇÖs socialising if you donÔÇÖt want to. Spending the day with your own company can be a great way to appreciate yourself and how amazing you are. Why not relax and do a bunch of spa treatments or make yourself your favourite food? If you want to get out the house, take yourself out on a date and see a film or get a nice drink somewhere. Do whatever makes you feel your best self and reminds you that youÔÇÖre unique and wonderful.
Most of all, remember that you have so much around you and in your life that goes way beyond that 24-hour period of Valentine’s Day that might be getting you down.
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