Here we are again.
It seemed wrong to skip this opportunity to complain about how single I am. Still. Maybe even through a few snide comments to those people more successful at love than myself. Then I started to think less ‘single bitter cat lady’ and more ‘reasonable and logical human being’.
I can see the beauty of it. A day to celebrate your favorite person. An excuse to get a little soppy and emotionally available, in a culture that tells us we should not be. OK, so it evokes a disgusting amount of jealousy and loneliness in me, but it brings its own challenges for people in relationships and even more so for people who have lost someone they love.
Valentine’s day and the social pressures it brings can really sting your bank account. There is a huge expectation to treat your significant other to dinner and a hotel and expensive gifts. This is just ridiculous. No amount of money or material goods can quantify a feeling. Use the opportunity to tell them how you feel.
As cringe as it sounds, writing a card or note can mean so much. It does not have to be a poem or a letter full of metaphors and imagery. A thank you for what they do and a reminder you love them can go so far.
There is so much you can do in Cardiff that won’t bust your bank. Valentines on a budget is all about creativity and this means more than just forking out for some overdone and overpriced cliché.
If you have decided to do gifts, then it may be a good idea to set a price limit, a gesture always feels nice but a lot less so if it isn’t matched by the other person. Photo frames and personalized gifts are not that expensive and will stand as a special reminder of one another.
It can serve as a reminder of our failed love attempts, our breakups and the sickening ‘what if’ about that one person you just cannot shake from your head. It happens. We all have one.
What is important to remember is that one day means nothing. At risk of sounding like a preachy love guru, the journey your own takes the path it does for a reason. If you are single right now, you may not be ready, or you may have found yourself invested in someone who is not. This being the case, you do not want to be with that person, it is not healthy.
Chances are, if you are desperately trying to find a valentine then you probably should not have one either. You need to learn that being alone is enough, and any relationship you find yourself in before you know this, probably won’t be that healthy.
Happiness has nothing to do with having someone else. It has everything to do with you. You are not lonely. You have friends and family. These things are the most important things in your life. Not a relationship. People forget this sometimes. Especially on Valentine’s day.
What to do if you’re single.
You don’t have to acknowledge it if you do not want to. The year after I broke up with my boyfriend I pretended it did not exist.
You can grab your friends, go out clubbing. If you are anything like me I LOVE the single ladies themes club events that are often on. If you think alcohol might tip you a bit too close to tears then go for food, order food, watch a movie.
Self-care. Yeah, that’s right. Get a facemask and a rom-com on. Someone had to say it.
It is just one day.
Whether you are single or in a relationship, you must remember that Valentine’s day is a twenty-four hour period. It does not represent anything, you cannot expect to show how you feel in just one day, neither should you allow it to make you feel any type of way about being single. Love does not just mean romantic love. Celebrate the love you have already. The love for your friends and your family. It is just as important and the day gives us the opportunity to remember and appreciate this