“FOMO”

Hi, IÔÇÖm Helen, and I suffer from Fear Of Missing Out

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Commonly known as ÔÇ£FOMOÔÇØ, this condition affects roughly 1 in 6 young people (okay, I made that up. But it could be true). The signs are easy to spot. Do you find it excruciatingly difficult to turn down even the most casual of social arrangements? Do you dread hearing a second-hand report of what happened at the last social, or at so-and-soÔÇÖs birthday drinks? Then IÔÇÖm afraid you, too, might be a FOMO sufferer.

Although I believe that FOMO may have been latently affecting my behaviour for many years, it seriously began to rear its ugly head in my first year of uni. I was pretty much unaware of its existence until sometime during the second term, when my housemates started to notice a pattern. I was present at almost every house-night-out. I rarely missed a trip to the pub or the cinema. Hell, I could scarcely say no to so much as a shopping trip. When this was pointed out to me, I had a sudden moment of self-clarity. I hate missing things. Like, really hate it.

It turns out this is bad news for my purse. Money seems to trickle away very quickly when youÔÇÖre agreeing to everything your friends suggest. I canÔÇÖt say that IÔÇÖve improved at all since first year, either. As I write this, for instance, I am contemplating how best to negotiate my Friday night so that I can go out both for a friendÔÇÖs birthday and for a LangSoc (English Language Society) pub crawl, even though theyÔÇÖll be in completely different places. I WILL go to both. IÔÇÖve also just agreed to buy a ticket for a play in London in a few weeksÔÇÖ time, despite having never heard of said play and barely being able to afford it, just because a friend asked if I wanted to go and it sounded like fun (and because Rupert GrintÔÇÖs in it).

In that respect, FOMO can be great news for your social life. Its kind of like being a Yes Man (or woman), isnt it? If you dont know what I mean by this, give the Jim Carrey film a watch. Maybe not a second watch but anyway. As Carreys character illustrates, saying yes to everything can be wonderful. It can open up all sorts of doors and lead to a lot of good times. But its not without repercussions  energy levels and money supplies, in particular, get hit hard. Maybe I just wont pay bills this term theyre optional, right?

Those of you who know me will know that IÔÇÖm into photos in a big way. In fact, itÔÇÖs probably one of the main reasons I still have Facebook. As sad as it might sound, I LOVE logging in to see that IÔÇÖve been tagged in a load of new photos. I also take a kind of strange pride being the person who uploads all of the photos from the night before, much to everyoneÔÇÖs dismay. Whether theyÔÇÖre embarrassing, hilarious or actually rather sweet, photos are memories. I know thatÔÇÖs horribly cheesy and clich├®d, but itÔÇÖs true. Obviously actual memories are memories too, but thereÔÇÖs something quite nice about having a visual reminder to stick on your wall (be this your virtual Facebook wall or actual bedroom wall). However, when the photos go up from an occasion that I couldnÔÇÖt/didnÔÇÖt attend for whatever reason, I get a sort of second wave of FOMO. Maybe we should term this post-event-FOMO. ItÔÇÖs that strange twisting in your stomach you get at knowing that fun was had and you werenÔÇÖt involved, which sounds awfully selfish, but I think we all get this feeling to some extent from time to time.

I also have a theory that food envy is linked to FOMO. Now, I know IÔÇÖm not alone in experiencing this. Ever sat down for a meal, having ordered/cooked something perfectly nice, then looked across at someone elseÔÇÖs plate and felt even the tiniest wave of jealousy? Thought so. That, my friend, is food envy. WeÔÇÖre all guilty of it from time to time. This is why things like buffets, light bites and sharing platters are an excellent, excellent idea. As long as youÔÇÖre not the ÔÇ£JOEY DOESNÔÇÖT SHARE FOODÔÇØ type (please tell me Friends references are still relevant).

YouÔÇÖll have probably realised by now that this column isnÔÇÖt one hundred per cent serious. FOMO is, as far as IÔÇÖm aware, not an actual medical condition. But it is a thing. At the very least, itÔÇÖs another one of those annoying acronyms churned out by the twitter generation, for better or worse. IÔÇÖll say this for it though: it articulates a genuine feeling, and a common one at that, which was previously lacked a name.

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