Words by Briana Ciobanu

Before coming out I spent two good years thinking about whether I should do it or not. Mostly because I was in constant debate with myself as IÔÇÖd been raised as an orthodox Christian, in a country where anything that had to do with the LGBTQ+ community was taboo. Fortunately, I was lucky enough to have a supportive family although there have been slips from time to time that did not show certain family members to be so, but what can you do? You canÔÇÖt have it all.

My coming-out story is not something dramatic either. One summer night in the garden, I told my mum I had kissed a girl and the discussion went from there, clarifying that actually, I am only attracted to women, and that was the end of it. However, the hard part came after because no one tells you that after you come out to your family, eventually you will have to constantly come out for the rest of your life. This makes me live with a constant fear of how people will react, for instance when I first came to university, I was afraid of telling people my sexuality but I also didnÔÇÖt want them to assume that I was straight.

Over time, I came to the conclusion that if people have something to say about it or verbally attack me, it’s not such a big issue, although still a bad situation to encounter. The problem is when they try to get physical to show their disapproval of your ÔÇÿlifestyle choiceÔÇÖ. I had friends have people shout and spit on them just because the way they dressed looked too gay or drunk men shout and run after two girls linking arms shouting: ÔÇ£By 18 you should be in prison!ÔÇØ and the list can go on.

Furthermore, other friends did not even come out due to the fear of rejection from the people around them. One day they just got into a relationship, announced it, and waited for the backlash. What helped me significantly in embracing this part of me, was surrounding myself with people from the LGBTQ+ community. Everything related to the community that I could find in Cardiff, I went to. Places such as The Queer Emporium, Pulse, and the CU Pride society are the places that I currently feel the safest.