by Alice Friel.

For a book lover, thereÔÇÖs nothing quite like the feeling of complete submersion in a fictional world. Hours seem to pass like minutes as you greedily turn the pages, excited to discover more. We all have our favourite spot where we like to curl up with infinite cups of tea, content to pass whole days unmoving until youÔÇÖve finished your current read. As an English Literature graduate, currently studying for a MA in Communications, this is a feeling IÔÇÖve been desperate to reconcile with.  

Before I started my undergraduate degree, my family used to joke that if the house was on fire, IÔÇÖd have to finish the chapter before evacuating. Reading was a part of my identity and always the go-to answer when someone asked me what my favourite thing to do was. But now, my relationship with reading is a complicated one. I feel more connected to literature than ever before but, at the same time, picking up a book can feel like a chore. My post-degree reading habits have been sporadic and I can feel restless when I do manage to find the time to read. Frequently, IÔÇÖve caught my mind wandering or my eyes flitting down to the bottom of the page to check how much IÔÇÖve read in the last five minutes. For a while, I couldnÔÇÖt understand why I was so disenchanted. I thought IÔÇÖd lost my love for literature which was something IÔÇÖd felt was impossible. Could studying English Literature really have changed how I felt about something that I used to rely on so heavily as a teenager? 

I think the answer to this question is yes. Studying English Literature can greatly alter your approach to reading. You have to become a critic. You have to look beyond your inexplicable love for your favourite poem and sit for hours on end writing essays about its structure and form, picking it apart until youÔÇÖve got nothing left to say about it. DonÔÇÖt get me wrong, writing on a topic that you really care about is extremely fulfilling. Studying literature allows you to explore issues relating to culture, gender, race, history and so much more. There were modules and texts that constantly reminded me why I chose to study the subject. But there were many factors that made me sit and stare at the book in front of me, urging myself to muster up that same feeling of immersion that always came so naturally. 

Firstly, I knew I was going to have to read books that I wouldnÔÇÖt have personally chosen, but I swear my tutors sometimes chose the driest literature ever written in the English language. This may anger some, but you will never convince me that The Canterbury Tales is an interesting read. Every page of that text felt like I was sitting a foreign language exam which definitely detracts from the plotÔÇÖs appeal. Secondly, the speed at which I had to read in order to even scratch the surface of the current weekÔÇÖs reading list meant that sometimes I hardly had time to even notice what I was reading. A bit dramatic of me, but when the clock is ticking and youÔÇÖre behind on the essential reading for three different modules, it really does take the fun out of it. Before university, reading offered me escapism but I found myself having to find other hobbies to escape from reading. 

WhatÔÇÖs more, English students tend to be very vocal about what they consider ÔÇÿgoodÔÇÖ literature. IÔÇÖd never felt so self-conscious about my taste and IÔÇÖve come to realise that I began to read books I felt I should read, rather than oneÔÇÖs I actually wanted to. Even during the summer breaks, when the whole point is to unwind after a stressful academic year, I forced myself to struggle through novels that didnÔÇÖt particularly interest me just so that I felt I was reading something productive and respectable. IÔÇÖve now come to realise this was an absolute waste of time and all that matters is that I allow myself to enjoy literature. And if I occasionally want to read a cheesy, lovey-dovey romance novel then why not? Just because I enjoy the odd easy read doesnÔÇÖt mean I donÔÇÖt also love the Bronte sisters or Virginia Woolf. IÔÇÖve just come to realise that sometimes I need to give my brain a rest and thatÔÇÖs okay.┬á

ItÔÇÖs now been nearly eight months since I finished my undergrad and I finally feel like IÔÇÖm repairing my relationship with literature. For a long time, reading felt like work and who honestly enjoys working? But now, enough time has passed that IÔÇÖm reading for pleasure again. I finish a day of lectures and sit down with a cuppa and a book. I donÔÇÖt know if it was the distance IÔÇÖve since created from my studies or if all it took was that one special novel to catalyse the feeling of excitement that had become so foreign. But now IÔÇÖm eager to read intuitively and allow myself to discover new literature that I actually want to spend my free time exploring. But IÔÇÖd say IÔÇÖm living proof that if studying English Literature ruined your relationship with reading, then itÔÇÖs not permanent. Your relationship could just do with a little break.┬á