Are there any heroes left in the modern age of dating?
In this modern age of dating, something very interesting can be observed: the simultaneous celebration of both intentional abstinence and sexual exploration. This duality represents not a contradiction in how we are approaching our love lives, but instead an evolution in how individuals claim agency over their sex lives, making narratives that transcend traditional, binary expectations.
So, what connects those who are wating for their knight in shining armour, and those who are choosing to be the protagonist in their own love stories? What unites them is a never-before seen use of autonomy. This modern moment has birthed a generation that increasingly refuses prescribed timelines or externally imposed standards for their sex lives. Whether choosing to explore multiple connections or hold out for a hero till the morning light, for the first time in history, people are finally able to author their own stories of desire and connection.
Social media platforms have become stages where these chosen paths find voice and community. Both the ‘hot girl summer’ aesthetic and ‘waiting for the one’ narrative represent two expressions of a larger social movement: the right to define one’s intimate journey without apology. These digital declarations serve not just as personal statements, but as beacons for others seeking validation of their own choices. Or in some cases, the princess calling for her prince from the tower.
The true magic is seen in how both paths can lead to self-discovery. Those in their exploration era often speak of learning to understand their desires, boundaries, and capacity for connection through multiple experiences. Similarly, those choosing celibacy often go down the self-care route, finding what they truly need in intimacy beyond physical connection.
The beauty of the current moment lies in its rejection of unneeded, patriarchal restrictions. The same person is free to choose periods of exploration and periods of intentional solitude, recognising that sexual agency includes the freedom to evolve, to change course, to define and redefine one’s approach to intimacy as life unfolds.
In both paths, what is most important is a powerful reclamation of narrative control. Those choosing multiple partners rewrite scripts about shame and virtue, while those choosing celibacy reframe waiting as active choice rather than passive circumstance. Both groups transform traditional narratives about sexual worth into stories of self-determination and conscious decision-making. In other words, we can not only be the protagonist of our love story, but the author of it.
This cultural moment hints at a future where nobody needs to explain their sex life or lack thereof, and where both exploration and abstinence are seen as different paths to figure out who you are in this wild dating landscape. A rejection of the idea that a ‘hoe era’ is only for those seeking validation or a ‘celibacy era’ is only for those who are religious. The true celebration lies in this expansion of possibility – the recognition that there is no single ‘right’ way to navigate desire and connection. Whether holding out for a particular vision of love or exploring the varied landscape of human connection, each path represents a valid expression of agency when chosen with intention and self-awareness.
In this new story, the hero’s journey becomes not about the specific choice made, but about the courage to make it authentically. This is the story of the present moment: the freedom to choose, to change, to explore or to wait, all without explanation or apology.
Words by Grace Fadahunsi