Illustration Instagram: @rahima.creative
By Inga Marsden
I don’t know about you, but I can always feel the dread of exams creeping up on me. I mean, beforehand it’s more of the odd shower, the odd trickle of anxiety before it simply passes. But I know all too well that when exam season finally begins, the spits of rain seem to manifest into a tsunami of intense emotions, namely fear, stress, and self doubt. Every single year I think it may get easier, but every year it’s exactly the same. And obviously, whilst you are struggling to stay afloat, your first thoughts may not be to attend that yoga session you and your friend booked, or go to that concert you have been looking forward to, or to attend that brunch date with the person you’re seeing. Engaging in anything unrelated to exams feels out of the question. Even lying in bed worrying about exams seems more productive than doing anything else. Invitations of which you welcomed before, now seem uninviting. Managing to maintain a healthy relationship with yourself over the upcoming exam season is hard enough, never mind maintaining healthy relationships with others, which is another thing entirely. Speaking as someone who suffers with academic anxiety, I feel more than capable of discussing the complex emotions we undertake during this period.
I think it would be fair to say that most of us students, during exam season, feel an urge to shut off everyone and everything which acts as a diversion from our studies. And during this period of time, I would hardly say we act as rationally and accordingly as perhaps would like to, most of us seem to adopt the technique of completely ÔÇÿshutting offÔÇÖ to any form of perceived distraction. For me, it seems that any lifestyle routine I managed to establish within the given year tends to go out the window around the month of April. You know, going for a long morning walk, meditating, playing a spot of tennis, attending a nice lunch with friends, watching a film before bed etc. The logical option seems to be to disregard my fairly balanced routine and put the blinkers on. I see this from my friends too, who may go off the grid for a long period of time. Instead of meeting, or actually chatting, we exchange the odd few messages, which may read something like ÔÇÿhey how you doing xÔÇÖ and in response ÔÇÿI’m doing x’. Now, as I am writing this I realise the possibly flawed nature of this technique, of disregarding a routine you have established to ensure your well-being, during a time whereby personal well-being is of paramount importance. Obviously we have to make some cutbacks in order to work, but surely not to such a drastic level which constitutes our own health and contentment.
‘I think it would be fair to say that most of us students, during exam season, feel an urge to shut off everyone and everything which acts as a diversion from our studies.’
I do wonder how beneficial this ÔÇÿshut my doorÔÇÖ approach can be for the individual, as it seems rather extreme and unlikely to thrive in complete solitude, and engage in solely exam related activities for weeks on end. If you happen to be encompassed with exam anxiety, It may also mean that you are struggling to maintain relationships which may have become strained during this time. As a fairly social person who is stimulated by social interactions, turning down all opportunities to engage with others, whether it be family, friends or romantic interests, connecting in person or simply online, is quite disheartening and sometimes depressing. But despite affecting our mental health somewhat, for some reason it feels like the -wiser- alternative. How bizarre. Whilst this absolute dedication to the cause is admirable, it does not seem to make much sense as to why we cannot maintain some level of normality during this period. Anxiety during exam time can certainly have an impact on how we approach relationships, as it sometimes feels easier to close yourself off rather than engage with others. I certainly feel this. If I socialise, not only do I feel immense guilt for taking my eyes off academia for a second, but I also dread coming across as anxiety ridden, hence not ÔÇÿnot acting myselfÔÇÖ in the company of others. However, I think we all ought to be a little easier on ourselves, as the undeniably real relationships we have with others, familial or romantic, are ones where there is a mutual understanding that we canÔÇÖt always be 100% full of life and stress-free. Whether it be in regards to academia or life in general; we all get overwhelmed.
As an act of self-compassion, it may be beneficial to socialise with people who you feel you can be yourself around, during this period. Whether it be to calm our nerves and discuss our shared experience of exam stresses, or to utterly distract ourselves and have a form of escapism for an hour or too. Whilst it is great to stay focused during exam time, winding down is important too. And doing things for leisure isn’t irresponsible, but necessary for our general well being. We are all multi-faceted, and have lives beyond university, and engaging in things which increase our sense of self, may allow us to feel more calm and collected, and thus be in better stead for exam preparation. The last thing anyone wants during an already stressful time is added stress, so if we can minimise that by how we navigate our own feelings and the feelings of others, we can keep this to a minimum. Whatever helps you stay afloat and soothes your anxiety during this time is truly vital, you come first.
It’s certainly been insightful to have a think about how we can make exam season a little more plain sailing, both personally, and socially. So maybe, before you feel like shutting yourself away, ask yourself whether you truly think this is the right way to go, or whether it’s simply an anxious response to the situation you are in. You are allowed to find pockets of serenity during exam season, and to engage with things that you know to fill up your cup. Despite any external academic pressures we undergo, how we feel internally is always most important. You’ve got this.
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