Written by: Niladri Singh
Illustration by: Summer Griffin
When you ask yourself this question, what is the immediate answer that you receive? The instant, naked, whole truth. Often, that is the answer that should guide you forwards in this next phase in your lives, with or without each other.  
Every relationship is different because every human being is different and this is why the choices people make and the way people react to their situations differs too.  
It┬áwould┬ábe a whole lot easier if I had the perfect plan and could jot it down for you.┬áBut┬áas someone who decided she couldnÔÇÖt choose to be in a┬álong-distance┬árelationship┬ádespite it being one of the most full-filling┬áand wholesome ones┬ásheÔÇÖs ever been in, there┬áare only a few things I can suggest.┬á
Be┬ásure┬áto sit down and have long and meaningful conversations about┬áthe year ahead. List your priorities, no matter how difficult they might feel. It is┬áalright to┬áfeel like you┬áhave the whole world to explore, new people and places to meet and visit, to feel it would not be fair to┬áput┬áyour partner through changes┬áyou┬ácanÔÇÖt┬áeven┬áfathom. It is also alright to feel like your relationship is the one thing that you would never give up on, to feel like it is your┬áhaven┬áand┬áto stick by it through all the changes to come.┬á┬á
The thing about love and everything that comes with it, is that it is going to move you, it is going to test you. It will make you wish, yearn, learn, it will make you grow. It will change you; all relationships do.  
There have been people who have been together for years and parted ways, people that met on a blind date and are raising a child now, there have been people who have lived oceans apart and now live every second of every day together. There are also people who grow out of relationships and places, meet different people, visit new places and take that leap into the unknown. 
At the end of the day, it boils down to the two of you and your relationship. Are each of you going to take equal responsibility? How will you manage different time-zones with work and university schedules? When will you see each other next? How will you manage communication?
If you decide to take the challenge,  find things you can do together despite the distance, maybe watch a movie, plan a dinner date, play online games together. Look for new and creative ways to stay in touch and spice up your dirty talk.
A friend┬áof mine also suggested┬áthat you could see how you fair when you┬ácan’t meet each other in-person┬áfor a few weeks┬áor a month.┬áA┬álong-distance┬árelationship will feel a lot like that but magnified and with┬áchanges happening all around you.┬á┬áSo this could give you a good idea of what to expect.
If┬áyouÔÇÖre the one that decides to go ahead┬ásolo, it is going to be fun. It is going to be a┬áwhole┬álot of┬ánew people, new relationships, stories to tell,┬áa whole lot of change with┬áyou┬áat the centre of it all,┬áquite a whirlwind.┬áWhen all┬áthat settles, there will come a night┬áwhen┬áyou┬áwill┬ábe hit with a┬átsunami of memories. Be prepared for that.┬áOn nights┬álike┬áthat, you must remember the reason you took this┬ádecision;┬áyou must┬áremember┬áthat you are┬áfar┬ábetter not being part of┬áeach other’s┬álives┬áthan being┬áabsent or worse,┬ábeing┬áhalf-heartedly present. As clich├® as it may sound, if it is meant to be, it will be. I have witnessed that┬áand┬áIÔÇÖm certain a few of our readers have too.┬áSo doing what you feel is right in the moment and knowing that┬ámaking the right choice is sometimes one of the most difficult things to do, should get you through it. Five years from today, will you still stand by your┬ádecision?┬á┬á
Before I forget to mention, he has a girlfriend now and I have had plenty of time to reflect.┬áI┬ádo not regret my decision. We are still friends and yes, we do not talk┬áevery day┬áor like we used to but when he makes┬ámusic,┬áIÔÇÖm still one of the first people┬áhe calls┬áand honestly, thatÔÇÖs all I ask for, for now.┬á┬á
It is okay to feel literally any feeling in the spectrum of emotion when you are making decisions like these, decisions that will impact your life even years after you have taken them. Do not beat yourself up and make sure to hold on to some form of catharsis. This could be music, writing, cooking, painting, anything that will keep you grounded, happy, physically and mentally present in the now and most importantly, in your being, as your truest most authentic self, the one that answered that first initial question: Will we survive a year apart? Your self-love no matter what you choose must shine through because the distance my friend, will test you either way.  
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