Words By Alice Moore
The Ick – we all get it. Whether itÔÇÖs imagining them running for the bus, to getting food around their mouth while eating, itÔÇÖs becoming so much easier to get turned off by a partner for the smallest of things. This increasingly common gag has gained a high amount of traction on social media, but although it started as an internet joke, it seems to have become a serious caveat to modern dating. What began as a trend depicting outrageous and funny scenarios has evolved into an overexaggerated hatred for the most basic of imperfections, which unnecessarily scares people out of relationships before they have even begun.
The ÔÇÖIckÔÇÖ was first coined in 2017 by Love Island star Olivia Atwood when describing her breakup with fellow contestant Sam Gowland. Atwood went on to explain how when youÔÇÖve ÔÇ£got the Ick, it doesnÔÇÖt goÔÇØ; itÔÇÖs the point of no return for any situationship. This was very quickly taken up by Gen Z on social media, creating bizarre and specific scenarios in which they would get the Ick. Some personal favourites include wearing goggles at the swimming pool, scrambling to pick up a coin that keeps rolling away from you, and walking back to your friends after your turn at bowling. These video trends, which were most popular on TikTok (aptly dubbed ÔÇÿIck-TokÔÇÖ), gained traction for their clever yet absurd embarrassing scenarios. I mean, imagine leaving someone because they accidentally pushed a pull door!
If we dive deeper into its origins, this trend of being turned off by a potential male partner appears to be a reaction to the overbearing Male Gaze on the heterosexual dating scene. This societally-imposed idealised version of what a boyfriend should be sets an unrealistic and repetitive standard, resulting in women feeling the need to base a partnerÔÇÖs value off of ticking mandatory boxes rather than how they personally feel about them. When one of these boxes goes unticked, the partner risks ÔÇÿemasculatingÔÇÖ himself and thus, the Ick is formed.
Outside of internet satire, however, the Ick is beginning to severely damage the process of modern dating. It functions as a blanket term for any cringey turnoff brought on by any miniscule aspect of your partnerÔÇÖs life that doesnÔÇÖt quite fit with your romanticised perception of them. Psychologically, this feeling tends to arise after the ÔÇÿHoneymoon PhaseÔÇÖ of a relationship, when the initial romantic excitement has dwindled and youÔÇÖre faced with the reality of the fundamental incompatibilities that you previously ignored for the sake of your short-term happiness.
Although the Ick began as a joke that pushed the reason for rejection on the failings of the male partner, it is in fact more of a reflection of womenÔÇÖs own insecurities surrounding commitment; theyÔÇÖre desperate for a way out that doesnÔÇÖt require facing their own problems. The 2020s have become an age where heteropessimism, toxic misandry, and ÔÇÿdump himÔÇÖ feminism assert dominance, and the narcissistic idea that itÔÇÖs completely fine to cut off anyone who doesnÔÇÖt serve your every need with no explanation has become incorrectly normalised. Of course, that is not to say that women are required to stay with their partners no matter what, but the difference between a genuine issue and an Ick couldnÔÇÖt be more obvious. As a result, modern dating life has more of a temporary, uncomfortable feel to it as people feel the need to fake their perfection; being their authentic self could risk being an ultimate turnoff. ItÔÇÖs an inescapable fear that shrouds any dating venture.
The Ick trend overall has provided an insight into the intricacies that come with dating in the 2020s. On one hand, itÔÇÖs provided the social media scene with a lot of laughs and content ideas, but on the other, it has highlighted the fundamental downfalls of superficiality that we all perpetuate. Despite its surface-level hilarity, the Ick reflects both the narcissism and insecurity that taunts our generation. We can only hope that, with time, the modern dating scene will surpass the need for unachievable perfection, and will allow us to be our true selves once more.
