Words by Ksenia Ryadnova.
A writer once said “is music getting somewhere?”.
A question I sometimes compare with ourselves.
A dotted rhythm, a slight crescendo. The idea that one little notation can change the whole
movement of a piece entirely. A slight irregularity can make the conductor feel as if they have failed in their artistry. Failure to provide beauty, knowledge and feeling.
I reconcile with conductors who have a passion to portray music as more of an embodiment, rather than simple sounds stringed together.
In many ways that is what we are like ourselves. We conduct concepts and label them as ‘emotions‘ that either validate our actions, or riddle us into a movement of despair.
Are we becoming embodiments of music? Symbols of a journey progressing?
One’s brain consists of extraordinary thoughts that accumulate all these mistakes feelings and self-worth. It forces us to progress with emotions that fuel our purpose, but also allows us to fall into a style that would otherwise be seen unfortunate by others in our lives. Much like the conductor correcting the fellow violinist in the front, for playing a slight crescendo against a dotted rhythm.
Take the common phrase: ” I love you.”
How its sincerity lies upon three syllables and collectively means the same thing to everyone.
Yet the manner you deliver it will always be different.
Take an example of a crumpled package. You long to receive it, however, when it arrives, it is dismembered and not in its rightful condition. You begin to worry about what has happened inside, leading to the concern that you won’t feel the same excitement that lingered before.
That’s the way “I love you” is said. You can expect a certain response, you can hope for those three words to be uttered back to you. You could wait for the right person to say this to. Once you receive this person, you’ll wonder if those three word will end up shaping the future, but there’s always a possibility that the emotions you had before will become obsolete.
That is how I believe a conductor feels when an encore is not encouraged. Yearning and yearning, all to be greeted with obsolete emotions.
But this isn’t a speech on whether love is real or not.
In fact, a speech never has a clear point. It never resolves around one significant thing. It’s interdisciplinary; it take certain examples in order to create a massive thesis that will be heard by all, but only resonate with some. Quite like an orchestra.
With fathomable emotions comes pressure, like the need to be progressing somewhere in life.
There’s always the feeling of being trapped inside your body; the ache that there isn’t a direct path or a visual at all.
Would it be so pessimistic to suggest that this idea will always be true?
The brain is like a conductor. It masters every irregular rhythm to make sure one doesn’t continue making the same mistake over and over again, but naturally, we never listen. Never the first time at least. If we listened from the beginning, mistakes would never be made and our journey wouldn’t progress.
The violinist will always have different ideas with music compared to the conductor. They will clash in their rhythm, their tempo and their artistry. However, in the end, the conductor is the master of the violinist’s performance. He will choose the violinist journey throughout the piece.
As individuals, we must compare ourselves to artistry and believe that our mistakes only prove how differently we master our emotions.
We must view ourselves as notes that have every inclination to be irregular. It only means we are progressing ourselves and ‘getting somewhere’.
Ksenia Ryadnova is a first year Sociology student.
‘I enjoy creative writing because it is exciting to have a moment where you can create a piece that not only allows you to show your own interests and ideas, but additionally allows others to understand your style. The inspiration behind this piece was a short clip where the writer Alan Watts, discusses how music is similar to a individual existing. I used his analogy to further my own ideas with the individual’s journey, and how mistakes are need to fully mature and progress in life with more knowledge and ease.’
