Are you not entertained?

Rachel Moloney delves into the ostentatious world of fame and fortune.

Shops up and down the country like to prepare us (often prematurely) for the next big event of the year. We’ve had Easter, Halloween, the bright lights of Bonfire Night, and now there’s nothing else to get ready for except Christmas. So start shopping.

It’s a season that’s immersed in shiny things- essential to cheer up those dark and chilly nights. And nothing does the job better than a bit of bling. Making the most of one of the most irritating and catchy tunes around, online has created its very own Gangnam-style jewellery. That’s right you heard me. The poor designers had to watch countless videos to get PSY’s look just right and as well as consisting of 636 diamonds, the item also has black diamonds for sunglasses and an oval jewel for the belt-buckle. The figure does actually look like it’s dancing madly like its human counterpart, yet with a price-tag of $59,975, the only person who’s likely to be buying it is PSY himself.

His worldwide success and subsequent celebrity lifestyle all seems a bit ironic now, seeing as though the song pokes fun at the Gangnam district: the Beverly Hills of Korea. I mean he’ll probably be living there soon. However these chic areas are incredibly easy to sneer at, as the people who live there are just so silly.

A photo of Jack Osbourne’s daughter, and therefore Ozzy and Sharon’s grandchild, has recently been shared all over Twitter as the girl clings onto an enormous emerald ring. The adorable (yet also slightly irritating) photo of the aptly named Pearl was accompanied by the caption ‘don’t be fooled by the rocks that I got, I’m still pearly from the block.’ The girl is five-months old. When I was that age my mother was parading me around in a buggy, not preparing me for a ball. In future Mr and Mrs Osbourne, please don’t mess with J.Lo when your youngster is raiding the jewellery box.

But what was Pearl supposed to do? She is named after a gemstone after all. In fact she’s just one of many in the entertainment world who, when grouped together, form their own little treasure trove of jewels. Rihanna wants us to shine bright like a diamond, Jade Ellis unwillingly left The X Factor, and a struggling novelist dreams of his perfect girl in new film Ruby Sparks.

So why is the entertainment industry constantly showering us with allusions to bling? Well, because it instantly makes everything seem so much more exciting, expensive and shiny. We love to dream of the unattainable, our eyes widen at the beautiful colours and it’s the perfect way to show off. Which is what celebrities do best.

Keen to be included in this bright and sparkling collection is The Sapphires– released on 7th November. Telling the story of the first popular Aboriginal female group, the film follows the girls once they are discovered by cheeky Irish chap Dave (played by IT Crowd’s Chris O’Dowd) and as they prepare to sing for the troops in Vietnam. The film had a ten-minute standing ovation at the Cannes Film Festival and has since enjoyed considerable success Down Under; firmly demonstrating that song, the 60s and shimmering blue dresses are a killer combination. It’s kind of like Dreamgirls but without Beyoncé.

[pullquote] A fame-hungry woman after Kanye’s cash? So that’s why he’s dating Kim Kardashian [/pullquote]

Singing his heart out alongside ‘Queen Bee’ in the 2006 film was Jamie Foxx, who has since widened his musical repertoire with turns in Ray and Kanye West’s ‘’Gold-Digger.’’ The actor/singer played a pivotal role in the hit single, opening the song with the high-pitched and instantly recognisable, ‘you take my money when I’m in need.’ A fame-hungry woman after Kanye’s cash? So that’s why he’s dating Kim Kardashian. In fact both seem obsessed with gold, money and fame full-stop, as Kim somehow makes millions for just being a Kardashian and Kanye is rarely pictured in anything less than designer.

It’s these antics (in particular his cringe-worthy intrusion of Taylor Swift’s acceptance speech) that prompted Barack Obama to label Kanye a ‘jackass.’ Quite a put-down from the American President, but I can see where he’s coming from. You’ve just won a VMA and then some idiot talks all over your speech about how much he loves Beyoncé. Get off the stage. Kanye will be pleased to know that Obama has since revised his original quotation from just a plain jackass to a ‘talented jackass.’ But with Kanye taking a spot on Forbes’ Most Powerful List, that’s probably just Obama’s way of getting down with the kids.

In the end, Kanye, Kim and the rest of them will always have more money than sense and the gold that surrounds them is simply out of our reach. Which is why it’s so annoying when they flaunt it in our face. Pearls, diamonds, rubies, sapphires and gold. These are things I don’t have. So unless someone goes all out on my Christmas present, I’ll just have to make do with whatever bling comes my way- whether it’s on the TV screen, cinema or radio.


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