Are you not entertained?

Rachel Moloney talks Twitter


It took my friends ages to persuade me to get Facebook. ‘But guys, I can already talk to you on Bebo and MySpace. Hell, I can even write a letter if you’re that desperate to talk to me. Why would I possibly want something else?’

But not only have I since eradicated Bebo and MySpace from my viewing history, but I’ve also gone and got Twitter as well. You see I understand social media: which is more than can be said for HMV, who recently got a big slap in the face from one their ex-employees. The woman hijacked the company’s official Twitter page and promptly posted rather angry statuses about their decision to fire many of their most trusted colleagues. ‘There are over 60 of us being fired at once!’ she cried, arguing that many of those facing ‘mass execution’ had wanted to help the company get back on its feet. Now that’s revolution for you. #hmvXFactorFiring tweets soon reached the attention of the company’s Marketing Director, who markets things so well that he apparently didn’t even know how to ‘shut down Twitter.’ While I’m pretty sure that shutting down Twitter may be a little bit too ambitious for him, there is such a thing as a delete button. So use it.

Someone who recently did make use of the delete button was Gary Lineker, who finally got fed up of posting stuff about Match of the Day and Walkers Crisps. There’s only so much one can say. However eight days after this grand epiphany, he re-activated his account and was welcomed back with open arms. Always-out-for-a-bit-of-attention Piers Morgan posted ‘Admit it…you just missed me too much,’ to which Linker replied ‘tis true, missed kicking your exceedingly large a***.’ Oh Gary, I should have known there’d be a reference to football in there somewhere.

With these wise words, Piers Morgan clearly demonstrates that Twitter can be used to show a wide range of emotions without having to come face to face with the person in question. After Beyoncé proudly sang the national anthem live at a press conference, she was thoroughly congratulated by Morgan from across the Twittersphere with the words ‘magnificent.’ Her vocal chords were on full display here, as they had been conspicuously absent at the President’s Inauguration. The pop-diva controversially admitted to using lip-syncing at the event, arguing that she had not had enough time to prepare in order to make it perfect. Not perfect in front of nearly a million people? I’m not surprised she cheated.

To be honest, no-one’s really challenging Bee’s musical capabilities, and no-one’s suggesting that anyone would actually cheat on her either. But that still didn’t stop Geordie Shore’s Holly from digging her oar in, claiming that Rita Ora had led Beyoncé’s husband Jay-Z slightly astray. Cue a very angry tweet from Ora, as she defended herself with the words ‘neva eva will any1 includin a red head dum z lister try talk s*** about me and my family.’ I sympathise with you Ora, but please refrain from using text language in the future. It makes you look like you’re 14. After being a complete and utter numpty, Holly did something right for a change however, that no-one actually gave a damn about what she had to say because no-one knows who she is anyway. You’re right. Go home.

[pullquote]Refrain from using text language in the future. It makes you look like you’re 14[/pullquote]

So does this mean that instead of arguing openly on the streets, people are now taking their rage out on their poor little keyboards? It appears so, as Brendan Coyle, who spent most of last series’ Downton Abbey in a prison cell, showed his anger by blocking a naïve NHS consultant from his page. His outburst was prompted by their opposing views over Margaret Thatcher and his reaction unsurprisingly shocked the woman, who must have been expecting him to be nice and sweet like his character, Mr. Bates. But worry not, as Brendan Coyle soon got his comeuppance from no less than his own mother. ‘#yourenevertooold.’

Playful banter, childish backstabbing or simply sucking up to your mother: Twitter’s got it all. However I was still slow to jump on the hash-tag band-wagon, fully aware that I didn’t really have much to say. My highlight of the day ranges from eating nice food to buying new clothes, which is all a bit of a non-event really compared to these vain look-at-me celebrities who persistently post photos of themselves on an idyllic Caribbean island.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m fine with a bit of publicity, so long as it doesn’t make me hate my own life. For instance Ashton Kutcher recently posted a photo of himself looking like Steve Jobs in order to promote his new biopic of the late Apple co-founder. This is fine, as Kutcher can’t act and needs all the help he can get. However his new film jOBS, as well as the highly successful The Social Network, simply reminds us how much our lives have been changed by the internet and new technology; a fact that those poor employees at HMV have been made only too aware.


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