Are you not entertained?

Rachel Moloney talks BAFTAs


It’s all about who you know: not what you know. For those of us who don’t have friends in high places, it’s very irritating when someone ends up top of the class for no good reason.

So imagine how annoyed some people were when casting was announced for Disney’s Maleficent. It’s easy to see why Angelina Jolie was offered the title role because she’s dark-haired, sultry and already despised by all the Jennifer Anniston lovers out there. However, directors seemingly hit a dead end as they pondered who would play the young Princess Aurora and latched onto the first little girl to walk in the room. Surprise, surprise, it was Vivienne Jolie-Pitt. She’ll do. Although Angelina’s daughter will have only a few moments of glory before Aurora grows up into actress Elle Fanning, Vivienne will nevertheless receive a ridiculous pay-cheque for her efforts, which is reportedly around £2000 a week. Two-grand?! Think how many cuddly toys you could buy with that.

Also starring in Maleficent (though probably not spending her wages on children’s toys) is Juno Temple who won the EE Rising Star Award at this year’s BAFTAs. Having starred in Atonement, St.Trinian’s and Year One, Temple is clearly blessed with a clever agent as well as a brilliant name and celebrated the win with her The Dark Knight Rises co-star Anne Hathaway. In the absence of Kate Winslet, Hathaway took it upon to herself to deliver the weepiest and most tedious speech of the night and rose to the occasion with flying colours. Thanking everyone she could possibly think of and appearing overly shocked for someone who’s won every other award going, Hathaway bored audiences with both her words and her dress. Why do the women insist on wearing black to the Baftas? It’s so boring.

[pullquote]Why do the women insist on wearing black to the Baftas? It’s so boring.[/pullquote]

As well as Hathaway’s win, Les Miserables sung its way to four awards over the course of the night proving that a lot of us have clearly enjoyed ‘hearing the people sing.’ However, someone who definitely did not enjoy himself on BAFTA night was Eddie Redmayne. Years ago my friend confessed her love for this freckly faced British star and I had to admit that I didn’t see anything in him. What was wrong with me? As I watched the stars parade their way down the red carpet, I was oohing and aahing like a giddy little school girl who really needs to get out more. But then he mysteriously disappeared and I was gutted. Whilst I anticipated his next appearance on my TV screen, Eddie was backstage suffering from a horrible bout of food poisoning. Which is a terrible waste really, as it took him ages to pick out that tux.

As awards season gets in full swing, the media become obsessed with the stars’ on-and off-stage antics as well as their rather dubious dress sense. Trying to brighten up an otherwise dull and sodden BAFTA red carpet, Dame Helen Mirren added a splash of colour to the event with a new dusky pink hairstyle. I’d imagine that that’s quite a bizarre request for a 68 year old, but if she felt like a change, then how many hairdressers are going to say no? You can’t refuse someone who played the Queen. As she paraded her new-do in front of the world’s press, Helen showed that you don’t have to grow old gracefully because there’s still time to act like a fickle teenager. But it would have been nice if she’d have shown a bit more aesthetic awareness; pink hair on a red carpet just doesn’t go.

Yet perhaps colour clashes are in after all. In another awards show, Adele moved away from her trusted yet boring black hues and wore a striking red and pink Valentino dress complete with flowery design. The star won the Grammy for Best Pop Solo Performance (‘Set fire to the rain’) and joined fellow Brits Mumford & Sons as they celebrated their win for Best Album. However, reporters noticed that Adele’s celebratory mood was not felt in the direction of Chris Brown, as pictures seemed to show her telling him off like a naughty school boy.

It would seem that the man just seems to attract trouble, as he’s previously been accused of assault by Rihanna and has since been linked to another scuffle with fellow singer Frank Ocean. As everyone stood to acknowledge Ocean’s Grammy win for Best Urban Contemporary Album, Brown blatantly stayed in his seat and allegedly got into trouble with Adele for refusing to move. Seeing as though his reaction was in full view of some of the biggest stars in the business and a further 28 million TV viewers, Chris Brown could have chosen a better moment to get super-glued to his chair.

Whether it’s the truth or a lie, Adele later revealed that ‘Chris Brown and I were complimenting each other in that photo actually!’- implying that the media had once again jumped the gun. That’s the problem with awards shows, as so many stars are placed together in one room that it becomes impossible for anyone to escape the notice of every single camera and microphone known to man. So for celebrities wary of being judged by the good old public, I have some advice. Avoid confrontation, do not bore us with your speech and thank the person that gave you your big break. It was £2000 well spent.

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