By Megan Evans
If you had told me that I would be trialling this ‘online’ dating, not just via apps such as Tinder or Bumble, but through the means of FaceTime and general texting without the actual meeting up, I would’ve laughed hysterically. To me, dating in the twenty-first century, whilst it is nice that you can connect with people wherever you are in the world, is extremely daunting.
Coming out of a long term and long distance relationship whilst being at university was hard enough let alone having to with the repercussions of the long term effects during a pandemic. I wanted to take some meaningful time before trying to spark up a connection with someone new and seeing what else was out there for me in the ‘dating world’.
Tinder blew up left, right and centre as soon as I downloaded the app. It was an overwhelming feeling having matches being made before I even really settled onto the app and perhaps having some meaningless conversations that left me wanting more.
I was tired of ‘what’s your snap’, I wanted to have conversations that could benefit my way of thinking, give me some productive things to do i.e. what’s the best film, so I could then choose that instead of aimlessly scrolling.
It is easy to say that time will tell, but that is so true for an application like Tinder. If you pointlessly swipe through, you probably won’t find something that you’re looking for. If you genuinely look through a profile and having some engaging conversations, not just about how ‘hot’ your first picture is or how funny the one liner bio is, then you could find yourself a match.
I put myself a little more out there with my bio, describing exactly who I am, posting pictures that I knew reflected me the best- not just the dolled up ‘glam’ ones. I managed to get the attention of a couple people, one in particular who I had a little in common with and that wasn’t just the fact we live in the same remote town in the middle of nowhere (insert crying laughing emoji).
Pandemic Tinder Top Tips…
In order to get the best experience, I say use the app for fun but keep in mind your motives. It’s funny to see how many matches you could get in a day, or see how many people you may know, and trying to cheat the algorithm by allowing that same person, who you continuously swipe left for who seems to appear in every stack of people.
Talk as much as you can, but not every second of your life. By waiting at your phone for a reply, you could be doing something a lot more engaging. This particular person was funny and witty in their replies, but allowed me time to have something to say. Lockdown made that extremely hard, as there is nothing to speak about but so much time to actually speak to people. Tinder became an app that sparked my attention to reconnect.
I value what this app has given me- not just someone to speak to when I am bored, but whilst the pandemic has gone on, it has allowed me to seek the true gems who want something a bit more substantial.
Distancing with dating is difficult, but arranging those coffee dates and having proper in depth detailed discussions on life, no matter how deep, really shows who is worthwhile of your time. It also avoids those awkward one night stands, and strips away the intimacy in a meaningless way, and replaces it with effort and timelessness.
I have also discovered I am a hopeless romantic but in a good way. I don’t want ‘you’re fit’ on my Instagram pictures. I want someone to go out their way with a compliment, tell me I am intelligent, and say I have good recommendations for books, as sad as that may sound. I want to know about family and friends, and places you love, rather than how many people have you seen.
I want someone to genuinely enjoy talking to me to the point where they could want to take me for a meal, take me for an outdoorsy walk and take me on a whirlwind of emotions that is better than for worse.