Before you venture into this review of Star Trek Beyond, I must warn you that I am NOT a ÔÇÿTrekkieÔÇÖ. If there was a scale that measured how much of a Trekkie I was, IÔÇÖd probably be sliding at a graceful speed away from ÔÇÿbarely a fanÔÇÖ. To sum up, IÔÇÖm not that fussed on the universe, albeit I still seem to end up in the cinema with sweets and Dr. Pepper in hand to watch the new sequels.

Star Trek Beyond all begins quite peacefully as the USS Enterprise (and its crew) dock in the most vulnerable looking space-station named Yorktown, in order to resupply and catch up with family and friends. Yorktown is not a very sci-fi name, sounds like a run-down little village in England and not a scientifically impressive and diversely populated home in space, but hey-ho. The crew are three years into their five-year mission in space enforcing space law and after appearing very tired from fighting aliens and such, they begin their well-deserved break.

Until a lone survivor from a ÔÇÿkidnappedÔÇÖ crew orbits the station and Captain Kirk decides itÔÇÖs his duty (and his crewÔÇÖs) to immediately go back into space to rescue said souls. Little does he know the baddies control a swarm-like robot army that can shred through the Enterprise like butter. Our beloved crew are forced to crash land on an unknown planet and are of course, separated from each other as they land. I would name the duos that work together to find the others and escape but I honestly couldnÔÇÖt tell you their names. IÔÇÖll try anyway: thereÔÇÖs Kirk and Zulu? No, Sulu? Spock and Judge Dredd, a Scottish man impersonating Simon Pegg and the woman from Kingsman who had blades for feet. I think thatÔÇÖs it, who knows I wasnÔÇÖt paying attention.

There are some cool action sequences throughout the film, with some pretty cool effects to go with them. My favourite sequence being the part when they manage to take off an older model USS ship which looks pretty much a ruin. I was actually enjoying myself at that point, but the incredibly cheesy and outright awful motorbike scene was appalling. If I was an actual critic (surprise: IÔÇÖm not) IÔÇÖd deduct two, no three stars for that bit alone. Seeing as Beyond was directed by one of the Fast and Furious lot, this terrible CGI didnÔÇÖt come as a surprise. When youÔÇÖre watching a film with high-budget space battles and youÔÇÖre juxtaposed with this garbage, it makes it really difficult to take any of it seriously.

Star Trek Beyond payed tribute to Chekov actor Anton Yelchin who passed away in a car-related accident, and also Leonard Nimoy, who of course played Spock before Zachery Quinto. The tribute to Nimoy in-film with QuintoÔÇÖs Spock learning of his passing is a well delivered moment, with no time rushed to get you back into the action. I thought it was respectful and merged well with the film.

However, there are many aspects of the film that let it down. The villain, played by Idris Elba (didnÔÇÖt know until the end!), was extremely lacklustre. Pretty sure he killed less than three people; mostly rambling or looking angry. The rubbish CGI bike scene was just awful. Simon PeggÔÇÖs huge influence on this series, and Star Wars, just upsets me these days.

If youÔÇÖre a fan of Star Trek you might be able to enjoy this, but if youÔÇÖre like me and arenÔÇÖt too bothered by it all, go and watch Star Wars for the thousandth time- itÔÇÖs much better. With a forgettable story and forgettable villain, Star Trek Beyond is mediocre at best.

Alexander Jones