Red and Green Flags on a Dinner Date
The first date with anyone is full of make-or-break moments which are crucial to the progression into a second night. I’m sure we’ve all had both good and bad experiences on a dinner date, especially on a blind date. But I have categorically defined my no-goes from my green flags to save myself from the tragic, unwanted, second date.
My nightmare dinner date would start with them turning up late. Unless they have a great excuse (which is unlikely), the no-go siren goes off in my head. If they make me wait any more than 10 minutes, I’ll just go home. I want someone who cares about making a good first impression.
Next is my classic “no phones at the table” rule. On a first date, quite frankly, it is rude. A phone in any situation makes me feel as if they aren’t interested in the conversation or me, nor are they trying to make an effort. Whenever this happens to me, I feel like throwing the offender’s phone across the room. Alas, if only that was socially acceptable.
But the contents of the conversation are just as important. The biggest green flag for me at a first date is being asked questions about myself. What I do at work, my passions, hobbies etc. etc. If they make the conversation all about themselves, then how are they supposed to get to know me? Answer: they can’t. Which means they are either disinterested or oblivious to their big ego. Either way, I’ll just zone out when the droning begins.
Therefore, if my dinner date showed up on time, and made good conversion, then we are onto a win. Hopefully afterwards, once the meal has come, they would proceed to eat with their mouth closed. I cannot think of anything worse than watching my date’s food be chewed up in front of me. They also should not talk with their mouth full of food, a balance has to be found between conversation and chewing.
But at that point we reach the end of the meal, and the bill. When it comes to the bill, if my date offers to pay, whether I accept it or not, is a big green flag. Personally, I wouldn’t mind halving it but offering to pay for it all would make the date a 10/10.
Words by Emily Adam (@em.adam.x)
Traffic light dating
Dating. That horrid word. The act of taking someone out for a meal and hoping to pick up on some sort of interest from the prospective partner. Thinking of questions outside the generic is just taxing. What do you do for work? What do you like to do in your spare time? How many siblings do you have? It’s like filling out a job application form but this time, to be judged on. And to tell the truth, I am much more interested in the prospect of the food than the prospect of a second date. I know a little self-absorbed of me, but if I must endure a night of interrogation, I want to have some snacks to see me through.
So, when it comes to deciding what to eat, the date should take this advantage to use the menu as a prop for conversation. Big green lights if they had knowledge of food, but i would also admire them if they expressed avid interest in the various items on the list. Moreover, if I were to pick something they never heard of, and they weren’t afraid to ask what it is, I would take glee in the following discussion.
The choice is also important. Going for something basic or showing off their picky eating habits is definitely going to turn me away. I never completely understood how some people would refuse something they have never eaten or even seen before, or point-blank starving themselves because they know one type of food they hate is in a dish. Cuisine curiosity will always win me over – however if they were to get some classic chips or onion rings, they also gain some winning points with me.
Weirdly, I also would feel confronted if they ordered the same thing as me. Which leads onto the heavily debated dish sharing. I personally would be more than happy to let someone try something off my plate – as I have said, curiosity is a big win for me. So, if they were willing to let me try their food I would be waving so many green flags.
Yet, there is a catch. Splitting up food without physically splitting it up: if we were to get a side of chips to share, I would need for some sort of consensus that they don’t eat more than 50% of them without my permission. Yes, it’s a little obsessive of me, but I eat slow, so normally I end up eating one or two chips by the time someone has finished the dish. So, a bit of food awareness has to be there for them to progress to the next date.
But there is nothing worse for me, nothing more likely to make me refuse a second date and possibly walk out then and there (little melodramatic but still): chewing with their mouth open.
And loudly.
I hate it.
More than anything in the world.
They put tonnes of salt and pepper on their food? Fine by me! Has to eat everything with ketchup? Go ahead. But they must, must, must, eat with table manners. I think it’s more for their safety than anything else. Because as soon as I hear the chewing of a meal, the mastication of dish the slurping of a drink, the devil comes out in me. And I don’t take responsibility for any of my actions.
Words by Ellen Hollingshurst (@a_bakingmess)
Photo credits to Matthieu Huang via unsplash. No changes have been made to this image. Image license found here